Monthly Prayer Update Dec 2011

Dear Friends,

Here are some highlights of our past and coming month!

Mashi Mandali House Church
In our small house church we've been studying the book of Philippians. This has been a great context to discuss what the church is, and what it should be, with the other members. Both the format (discussion) and the depth are new for people. People are going deeper with scripture and really wrestling with what it means for their lives. At the beginning of one study, someone commented, "This keeps getting harder [to apply in our lives] every week." We have really been challenged by Paul's vision for the church!

One of the fruits of this is that I (Paul) have been asked to teach Philippians at the denomination's annual pastor's conference. One of the members of the house fellowship is involved in the denominational leadership and felt that the things we are learning at church would be relevant for the pastors. Philippians is a book close to my heart; it will be hard to cover it in two days, but I am really thankful for the opportunity to teach it!

FECAI - Progress and Lots to Do
Paul has been helping FECAI re-organize to better focus on their mission and to better align people's work with their gifts. This has meant a lot of changes for them, and lots of chances for Paul to walk alongside people as they grow into their new roles. Recently Paul has been working with the regional managers, helping them as they take on new responsibilities. It has been fun to see them empowered in new ways. We're starting a training program over the next six months to help better equip their staff with tangible ministry skills. This is a big project, that will hopefully both train the field staff and set an example of how to implement and manage a program for continued effectiveness.

Mercy Ministries of North-East India
Paul spent two days in western Assam (about 4 hours by train) visiting with a new potential ministry partner. They are local pastors and field staff working in a very difficult context: there is persecution for new believers, corruption is rampant, kidnappings and extortion are common, and development is low. Pray for God's guidance as we consider coming alongside these faithful people.

Family
Someone told us that once you have kids, time flies by even more quickly. How true it has been. It's hard to believe that Elijah will turn three years old in January and that our twins, Rena and Sophianne, will turn one in February! By January, we will no longer be parents with three kids under the age of three! :)

Life with three little kids has meant that there is hardly any room for a quiet moment in the house. For us parents, it has meant that we are more tired than ever. I (Rebecca) didn't realize how physically demanding it can be. Now that the girls are crawling and pulling themselves up, we are on full time duty chasing after them in opposite directions. To contain them, we usually hang out in the kids' room and close the door! It's one room where it's mostly childproof. They have started eating solids, which has meant that the kitchen is always busy preparing food. We have at times wondered what life would be like with a big refrigerator! Sophianne is eating like a champ, and although she was the little one, she has now surpassed her sister in weight. Rena has been having feeding issues. We are not sure of all the reasons, but her NICU occupational therapist thinks she might have an oral sensory problem. She's slowly starting to eat, for which we are grateful. We'd appreciate your continual prayers for her.

Elijah is talking up a storm. We love the mind of a 34 month old. There is so much going on in there, and most of the time there are stories being lived out or being told. We have constant entertainment. Really, who needs TV when you have a preschooler (oh yes, except when you want to get some work done!)?! We think he's in the process of learning Hindi because he babbles words and we and he have no idea what is being said, but the intonation definitely sounds like Hindi. He is starting to speak a few Nepali phrases and likes to say some Korean words. Most mornings, he protests going to school, but he always comes home with a big smile and a, "I had a good day!" It's interesting to hear his observations. The other day, he said to us, "India is changing. There are more traffic lights."

As we have been reflecting on our family life recently, it has become more apparent that the area that has suffered the most has been our relationship. The last five years have been full of big and little transitions. We've added three people to our family, had five apartments, lived for more than a month in nine places, and had to adjust to life in a cross-cultural, stressful environment. In the midst of all this our character issues have surfaced - mostly in our interactions with each other. When we're stressed it is easy to be short and hurtful. This has become the biggest issue that God is working on in us. It has been hard too, especially after having kids, to find the time to invest in our relationship! Although we have been experiencing growth, we still feel we have a long way to go. We desire to have deeper intimacy, better understanding ears and hearts, and more spark in our marriage. Please pray for God's special grace for us so that we can be the safe haven for each other, especially during stressful times. We desire this next term in India to be one where we are thriving in all areas.

Donations to our ministry can be sent to

FECA
2617 W. Beverly Blvd.
Montebello, CA 90640

Make the checks payable to FECA and write 'Graf' in the memo line.
All donations are tax deductible. Automatic withdrawal is also available.

Donate Online:

DONATE

For pictures, check out our blogs:
Updates on the Kids:
http://gkidschronicles.blogspot.com/

Life in India:
Assam Trip

Sandakphu

Prayer Requests

• Training Conferences: FECAI's Annual Staff Conference followed by a management team retreat, Dec. 6-10. Mashi Mandali annual pastor's conference, Dec. 14-16.
• Rena: Please pray with us that Rena would progress well in her eating.
• Funding: Thanks to all of you who have given to our support. We are now only about $4,500 dollars short of our 2011 budget. Please consider a year-end gift and pray that we would be able to finish the year in the black.
• Future Ministry for Rebecca: As the girls get bigger and more independent, Rebecca is starting to think again about ministry opportunities outside the home. There are so many needs here to be met! Pray for God's guidance to the ministry that will match her gifts, passions, and limited schedule.
• Christmas: Pray for good opportunities to share with our neighbors the true meaning of Christmas.

Assam Trip

A Trip to Visit Mercy Ministries of North-East India

November 2011

Sandakphu

One of my friends from church invited me to go to Sandakphu with him. It's 12,000 mountain 35 miles from here, as the crow flies, from which you can see four of the five world's highest peaks.

 

We didn't trek, or take the horses - we 'jeep trekked'.

Sundown at 10,000 ft.

Daybreak on Kanchanjunga

Daybreak on Everst (middle), about 90 miles away

We were straddling the Nepal/India border. I probably made 20 crossings without a visa!

Our New Flat

"How do you like living in your new flat? What is it like?"

It has been wonderful living in our new flat. Yes, it has its problems (we are living in India) with water seeping through the wall when it rains, doors not shutting properly, toilet leaks here and there, etc. but, in general, things are working as it should. The water pressure is amazing, the view is superb, the convenience of playgrounds, elevators, and open areas for walking, running, etc. is just what we need as a family. The roads are wide and without potholes for the most part (in our township) so we can put the kids in the stroller and go for walks. Sometimes it is the only way that Paul and I can get some time together to talk and process our life. Elijah loves the playgrounds and the open area where he can run around, dance, sing out loud, and watch older kids play cricket. I can't wait to have a picnic out when the sun isn't so bright and it is a little bit cooler. I was thinking the other day how great it would be for the girls to practice walking on the grass when that time comes.....

I have been enjoying getting to know some of my neighbors who are friendly and great English speakers. There are some Nepalis in the apartment complex, but I hardly ever see them out. It seems like they keep to themselves. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they are considered minorities.....Most of the folks that I have been meeting in our complex are of various ethnic backgrounds. It is a very diverse place. We have enjoyed two birthday parties and a couple of visits during the Hindu festival time as people visited with sweets. Elijah also has kids around his age that he is starting to get to know. One of the ways that I have been surprised by is how well Elijah remembers kids' names. For the life of me, I cannot get their names right and he is always correcting me!

I never knew this about myself until I moved to India--that I love lots of natural light. In the States, we take it for granted because usually homes have big windows that allow for lots of light to come in. In India, because of the density of population and the ways that buildings are built, it's hard to find places with lots of natural light. It is literally like a cement box and after five years of cement box, I am SO grateful to have windows--large windows that bring in light!

It has three bedrooms and three bathrooms. Three bathrooms is a bonus but we're glad for the extra one because it has been functioning as our laundry room. It has been nice to have our own bathroom in the bedroom too. It's been great to have three bedrooms because I can now separate the girls--one in the guest/office and the other in our room--because they are napping and sleeping better at night. Elijah sleeps in the "kids' room" (we call it that so that he doesn't think it is his own because we hope to put all three in the room so that Paul can have a functioning office and a guest room). It is where the kids hang out when they are inside the flat.

Last month, as Paul and I celebrated our twelve years of marriage, we talked about what were some surprises that we didn't expect would happen or be like when we got married. One of the things that Paul shared was that we would be living in Uttorayon (which is the name of our township), which I heartily agreed. We both had ideals about the kind of life that field workers lived and the kind of homes that we would live in. It is far different than what we had imagined. I'm not even sure if I can fully articulate everything, but I didn't imagine myself living in a multi-story, multi-unit apartment complex in a new housing development, living among upper-middle class English speaking people! There are so many different ways to "live among" or "be among" the culture that you are in and we realized that we had a very specific and perhaps narrow view of what that meant.

When we were in the process about our decision to move here, I was reminded during my prayer time a brief interaction I had with God about ten years ago in China. I had visited my parents and they were living in a similar place like ours--a really nice apartment complex. And, I found myself wrestling inside because it did not match my idea of how a field worker should live. So, I remember kind of judging my parents and grumbling to God about it. And I distinctly remember the Lord speaking to me, "Why are you judging them? You don't know what process they went through with ME in choosing to live in this place? Maybe one day, you will find yourself in a similar situation like them." I remember repenting of my judgmental attitude toward them realizing that it was true, I didn't know the process they had with God over their decision. So, I asked and they shared with me how they came to a place of deciding to live there. And, now I find myself in a similar kind of living situation as them and I am thankful to God for His wisdom in addressing my attitude over ten years ago.

I am learning that it's not about our ideals but trusting and following as the Father leads us. We just didn't think that this place would be one of the places that He would lead us to live in. I am so thankful for God's blessing in providing this place for us for our good and for the blessing of others.

(Pics will be posted later..)

Earthquake Damage in North Sikkim

Here are some pictures that Abu took while working on the earthquake relief team in North Sikkim.

Our New Place

 Here's our new place. We're on the fifth floor. It is a complex that caters to upper-middle class Indians and most of our neighbors speak English.

The cracks in you can see here were there before the earthquake - they've had numerous quality control issues with the development.

Living Room - Notice the BIG window! Typical Siliguri has small (often frosted) windows that look directly into other people's small windows. This is a big improvement!

Kitchen

  Right after we moved in the earthquake hit. The cement beams separated from the brick partition wall an cracks formed in every room.

6.9 Earthquake in North Sikkim

I will write more when I have more time and my internet connection is more reliable. We are fine. I want to share some news links for you so that you can keep praying for people of Sikkim and those affected by the earthquake. We will let you know how you can be involved as we learn more. Information has been hard to get because people have been unable to reach the hardest hit areas due to landslides and bad road condition. We're borrowing our friends' internet "stick" (not sure what those are called) but you can pray that we can get internet installed at our new flat. Thanks for your prayers and love.

Sikkim Earthquake 2011 Update as of 1 P.M. Friday | MF Monitor

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/sikkim-earthquake-death-toll-rises-to-112/186297-3.html

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Sikkim-earthquake-No-trace-of-120-people-at-a-North-Sikkim-

Our Housing Dilemma

We have been looking for a bigger place to live. We have been looking for a 3 or 4 bedroom place so that Paul can have an office too. It has been hard to sort through all the issues but thanks to our pastor at Epicentre, we were able to narrow down and prioritize various factors we were considering. There were five factors we were juggling with: location, livability, community, finance, and perception. We realized that it will be impossible to find a place that met all the criteria and that we would need to prioritize. We both agree that livability is our number one priority. As we have been doing our search, we have been finding that for 3-4 bedroom place, we have to be willing to spend about 10,000 INR, which is about $222. However, they all require quite a bit of initial work before we move in.

However, today,I found a place in a new township where new homes and high rises are going up with 3 bedrooms and 3 baths (a real bonus), for 14,000 INR, which is $314. This is a HUGE jump for us because we are currently paying 4,000 INR for our place (which is way below the market price that other Indians are drooling over what we are paying). However, this apartment provides facilities such as a swimming pool, a gym, a game room, and lots of grassy and open areas for kids to run around and for us to take walks if we wanted. As we have been inquiring our foreign and local friends, we are learning that it is a deal. (Furthermore, this place provides the cross ventilation and lots of natural light that I have been wanting) and it is not on the top floor so we won't cook in the heat. It does not feel like a dark cement box, which our current place can feel like at times. Livability wise, it is great.

However, we are struggling with the idea that we might be living in a new development, in a gated community, paying what is an expensive rent. It is not what we thought we would even be considering (and we haven't until now) and kind of turned our nose up on oversea workers who kind of lived that way. By far, we are living in the smallest and simplest place among all the ex-pats here. But, with three kids in a city where kid friendly facilities are not available, we have been playing around with the idea. Furthermore, it does reslove a little bit of "community" problem because I will be around other Indian families and won't have to work so hard to be around other Indian families.

Because we found a good deal and there is another person also interested, we might have to make a decision soon. Although expensive, you get a lot for the value of the money. We have talked with our Indian partners and no one seems to bat an eye in the possibility of us living there. So, they seem to think, "Why not?" 

We are praying and asking God about whether this place is an answer to our prayers or whether we need to let it go and look for something else. Do you guys have any thoughts? If you do, please share them with us. Supposedly, the landlord will be in town on Thursday and we might need to make a decision before then. I am praying that perhaps the landlord would be willing to lower the price a little bit as it would help our finances, but it already is a good deal, so I don't know how willing he might be. I guess it won't hurt to ask.

So, I'd appreciate your prayers and if you have any thoughts, concerns, suggestions, or words for us as you pray, do let us know. My initial response in seeing inside of the place was, "Yes, this is what I was looking for" (even without the facilities), but I don't know if it is what God wants for us as a family. Please pray with me. We want to be where God wants us to be at the end even if it means it is a cement box.

Dinky the Spider

A little over a year ago, while we were in Kolkata, Paul and I decided to peruse some Indian children's books at a bookstore. It's interesting to read children's books from different cultures because they reflect something about the culture, its values, and worldview.

As we began looking at the books, both Paul and I found ourselves with our jaws dropped in sheer shock. Most of the books told stories of deception, lying, and cheating. But, what was even more shocking was that they glorified it. If at the end, if you got what you wanted, then you are considered clever. It doesn't matter that you deceived and cheated. It wasn't just, "The end justifies the means," it actually glorified using deception to exploit others' weaknesses.

Because we were so shocked, we decided to purchase two books as examples to show to our friends. One of the books is called, "Dinky the Spider." Dinky is hungry and wants something to eat. He can't seem to catch any food, so he comes up with a plan. He tells some flies that it is his birthday and that he has a yummy birthday cake inside a cave. An old fly tells the younger flies that he is lying and they stay away. But Dinky waits, and then then says, that there is cake in the cave, and that half of them can go in while the others wait safely outside. The flies go in. After some time none of them comes out. The remaining flies outside ask Dinky why they are not out yet. He tells them that it's because they are being greedy and are eating the cake all for themselves. He tells the remaining flies that they are welcome to go in the cave to take a bite of the cake too. So, the remaining flies go inside the dark cave and get caught by the web. It ends by saying, "There was no cake in the cave. Dinky had tricked the flied. 'Ha, ha ha." he laughed and ate them."

India is changing and economically it is starting to become an important world player. However, it has a long ways to go in terms of getting rid of corruption, doing justice, and having integrity. In the newspaper here, there is not a day that some form of government corruption is not mentioned. In the States, it happens, but it is an exception. Here, at a most basic level, people don't trust each other. For the most part, people assume that the other person is trying to cheat them. It is a sad reality of life here.

This story sadly reflects a value of this culture which is taught from childhood by some.....that is "Be clever and get your way, even if it means that you trample on the trust that has been shown to you." This story helped me to understand the general observation that I have had for some time--people just don't trust each other. Only the power of the HS and the blood of Jesus can change this culture of distrust, deception, and greed one person at a time....

Dinky the Spider Lived Out

I (Paul) recently took a shared taxi up to Sikkim for a training workshop. It is 3+ hours on windy, bumpy roads, with a driver who is going as fast as he can. There are 10 passengers, with four people. crammed across the middle and back seats. It is uncomfortable at best, and nauseating (literally!) at worst. The front seats with the driver are prized. There are only three people across, and it is less nauseating. People often buy their tickets hours in advance to guarantee the good seats. I sent our driver three hours in advance to get the seat for me. I get car sick fairly easily, so it is important to me. He came back with seat number three. I was too late for the front, but I still had a window seat in the middle row - doable.

As the car was loading up, a better dressed young man addressed me in good English. "What seat number are you?... Are you going to sit there? Will you switch with my friend?" He motioned to his friend, standing next to him with his arm in a sling. "In the back [in on of the middle seats] will be very uncomfortable for him." He gave a look of concern, as if to say, "Have compassion on my poor injured brother." I explained to him that I need the seat by the window or I would be sick - and everyone would then be uncomfortable. He yielded and helped his friend into the back. I felt a little guilt for saying "No."

I was then shocked to watch him go and sit in seat number one - in the front by the window. He had enough heart and compassion for his friend to try and manipulate me out of my seat, but not enough to give up his own. I think he targeted me because he thought that as a foreigner might be easier to fool. What really amazed me was not just that he tried to manipulate me out of my sea, but that he would be willing to ride in the same vehicle with me for three hours, knowing that as soon as he took his seat, I would know that he had taken me. It seemed that he felt no shame in cheating me. It occurred to me that this was Dinky the Spider lived out is a very real way. It's okay to cheat, and you feel no shame. In fact, if you succeed, then you feel good about yourself.

That week I had read an article on a local news website. A prostitution ring had been busted in south India. The kingpin was a woman living in our neighborhood here in Siliguri. She and her son lured girls from our region with promises of jobs in beauty parlors. When they got them away from home they sold them to brothels. This to me was Dinky the Spider taken to a new level. Deceive people to further your own ends, and the ethic is, "If you succeed, you are clever."

I was saddened when  I read the children's book, much more saddened when I learned of the human traffickers living in our neighborhood, and frustrated by my own little experience with that ethic. I repeated these things to some of our Indian Christian friends. They gave a knowing shake of their heads, "This is just in our culture, it is everywhere."

Pray for India. In the midst of all this cheating and exploitation, it is the poor who get exploited the most, but everybody gets held back. Most of all it corrupts the soul, as it encourages everyone to deny the image of God within us and turn to the enemy instead. There is a desperate need here that only Jesus can meet.

Check Back in A Couple of Days

Life has been very busy with three kids, our internet has been down, but there is plenty to write about. I hope to write some about my reflections recently about life in India in the next couple of days so check in and hopefully, you will find something to read....

We're back in India!

Yes, we are back! It's been now three days but it feels like we have been back longer....I think each day has been kind of long with a lot of activities trying to unpack, set up house, reconnect with friends, and get Jeany set up for her time here. Also, Elijah has been having more tantrums and wow, it drains me of my energy! Poor guy, I think it's been tough having his life be completely out of whack for some time. Plus, I feel like we're in sauna here. It's not as bad as Thailand so I should not complain but it has been hot and humid.

I am so thankful for the wisdom that the Lord gave in thinking about spending a week in Thailand to decompress and to get over our jet-lag before arriving in India. I think the transition would have been really tough if we had not done that! I can't even imagine trying to unpack and set up the house while dealing with your kids and your own jet-lag. And, am I grateful for Elizabeth, our house help, and Saliendra, our driver! We would be starving right now if it weren't for them. I have absolutely no time to cook, clean, or do anything else besides watching the kids and trying to unpack and organize. When it comes to house organization, I'm the queen and I don't want any one messing with it, so Paul's not much of a help in this regards. But, he's been busy shopping, getting our phones working again, orienting Jeany, etc. By 9pm, we're both pretty wiped out.

It's been tremendously helpful to have Jeany with us. It's been great to have an extra set of hands to help, but more than that, I have really appreciated being able to pray together and have her friendship during this time of transition. She's such a mellow person. I love being around her when I'm feeling high strung!

Elijah had his first heat rash. We also learned that he gets car sick. He seems to like dhaal-bhaat so that's good, although he's been melting down a lot over food. It has a lot to do with familiarity and just having his life be completely out of whack. Rena and Sophianne are doing alright for the most part, although we have been turning on the AC because Sophianne in particular wants to be swaddled when sleeping, and it's too hot to have her swaddled with just the fan on.

I've been doing alright for the most part, except for the fact that I am constantly hungry and there is nothing quick to eat! I had my own little melt-down becoming a mean witch because I was so hungry and there was not even a peanut butter around to have a PBJ. That problem has been solved and it has become my snack food for now....I should have packed a lot of granola bars and stuff for myself when we were packing. Just didn't think about how difficult it is to find good nutritious snack here.

However, I was pleasantly greeted with two containers full of kimchee upon my arrival. A fellow Korean had made kimchee over the winter and left them in the fridge for me. There is also a bag full of kimchee frozen in the freezer. Thank you God!

I think we may have found another helper for us! Our driver's wife wants to work for us. We're really glad that his family is now together in one city where as before, she and the kids were up in the hills.

Next week, Elijah will start preschool. Please pray that it is a positive experience for him....

And, I think we are going to have to start looking for a new place. Our current space is too small. All five of us are sleeping in one room. It's been okay at night because we're all deep sleepers, but during the day, trying to have three kids in one room for nap, plus a sleepy mom -- not working out very well! Pray that we can find a good place for us.

All in all, things haven't been easy here but God has been good to us in taking care of us. It's a good sign when I am still really happy to be back and thankful that God has called our family to serve Him here!

How has life with three kids been?

It's probably one of the most common questions we have been getting. How has life been with three kiddos under the age of three? We laugh because right now we have three different size diapers in the house....

It has definitely been hectic and challenging at times, but our general response has been, "It's been a lot easier than we had anticipated." People are usually surprised by our answer and in some ways we also have been pleasantly surprised by it too. I don't think I had realized the extent of the learning curve one has to go through with your first child. With Elijah, there was only one baby and two adults, but it felt so much more taxing! Now, we are totally outnumbered but we feel like we're much more relaxed. In many ways, I feel like P and I are much more of a team. We are both more confident as parents and know where we are in terms of how we feel about certain things that we are able to work much more cohesively. We are not having to negotiate every little thing and figure it out for the first time! :)

Of course, my experience (our experience) has been a little different than what most mothers who have husbands work from 8am to 5pm jobs. I have been very fortunate to have P around a lot to help. So it has made our transition much easier than another family in our situation. We'll have to see what being with three is like in India--it probably will be the real test.

But for now, I am and I have been really enjoying being the mother of three amazing kids! I was sharing with my sister that having three kids is so much more fun than having one! She shared an insightful reflection about her own experience--that with one, there is still this desire and effort to live your life as if you still have your independence and can feel frustrated when it seems to be hampered. By the time the third one is here, you have pretty much surrendered yourself to the fact that this is your life and it will be for some time. I think she is right. I have no illusion at this point that I am going to have a lot of "space" for myself or to do the things that I would like to do outside of the home. Being in charge of our home-life is going to be my life for the next few years for sure.

As a person who values her independence quite a bit, I have been surprised at how peaceful I feel about this reality of my life. Some of it has to do with "maturity." I understand that this stage of life is temporary. I also feel grateful that I even have the option to be able to focus on the kids and family life because not all women have the option to do so. Thirdly, I feel like if my attention was divided in many ways or if both P and I try to make "job sharing" work during this stage, we would both end up feeling frustrated because I think we will feel like nothing is getting the excellent attention we like to give but we're juggling to maintain everything....if that makes any sense.

So, I have been telling my friends and others that for the next few years, I will be "m's wife." I want to release P to do ministry and work so that he can fulfill what God has called him to do with excellence. And, I will be the chief of home ministry affairs. In about three years, I know that I will be ready for a change in my role, and I anticipate that there will be some changes as we might choose to home school E. I know for certain that I do not want to home school by myself but that P will need to be fully engaged in it as well. Three years of being a M's wife is not very long. :)

So, how has life with three kids been for me? I love it! It's a lot of work but triple the fun. I am so thankful for God's generosity with us and His graciousness to us the last three months as parents. I highly recommend having three kids--not sure about three kids under the age of three, but definitely three kids.... feels more complete for me.

Our twin girls are here!

Our baby girls are here! They arrived on Thursday, February 10, 2011! Rena (also known as Baby A in the womb) came into the world at 5:13pm weighing 5lbs and Sophianne (known as Baby B) at 5:14pm weighing 3lbs 10.2 oz. We are thrilled that they are here!!

They are still in the NICU and will be for some time. However, we are so grateful that they did not seem to show any signs of respiratory disorder or seem to struggle with apnea. Although they have wires sticking all over their little bodies, they are breathing on their own. We're really thankful for that.

They are still being fed intravenously (fat and other essential vitamins) and using a tube that delivers food directly to their stomach. However, they have also started feeding the girls using the bottles of breast milk. Rena started out only with 5ml but has increased to 22ml and seems to be digesting well. She's drinking from the bottle three times a day. Sophianne started out at 5ml and is now at 12ml two times a day.

I love being able to "kangaroo" them -- skin to skin holding and spending some time bonding together.

Elijah has yet to meet the girls. He says, "Babies are in the hospital because they are sick." And at various points have asked me, "Babies out of mommy?" He won't be able to meet them until they return home with us. We're trying our best to help him understand what is happening; he's also trying to make sense of the situation too, it seems by playing "baby" with his stuffed animal. The other day I heard him say, "It's okay that you're crying....I cry sometimes too." So sweet.

Okay, time for me to go back to bed now that I'm finished pumping! ;)

Week 35!

This morning was devoted to medical appointments. I was initially scheduled for fetal monitoring and then an appointment with the perinatologist to get my last detailed ultrasound. However, I woke up this morning and realized that I had spotted while sleeping. I called my Ob and was told to go to Labor and Delivery to make sure all was okay. Thank goodness I didn't have to spend six hours there! I was out within an hour. It was kind of nice that the fetal monitoring was done early and I had a little time to spare before my next appointment with the peri.

I was looking forward to my appointment with the perinatologist because I knew I would be getting a detailed ultrasound scan. It was going to be my last ultrasound. I was curious to see how much the babies had grown in the last four weeks. We were surprised to find out that baby A measured 4lbs and 11oz and baby B measured 4lbs 1oz. In the last four weeks, baby B had only gained a pound and the doctor expressed his concern. Although it is very common for twins to stop growing as much starting week 32, he was hoping to see more growth. He felt that maybe my body has maxed out and that it is time to take the babies out.

Then we had a phone conferencing with our Ob and she suggested that we take out the babies today! I just did not feel emotionally or practically ready to agree to that, so I asked if we can do it on Thursday instead. Medically, although there was a concern for their growth, everything else looked good so it didn't seem like there was any real urgency that required a c-section today. I wanted to be able to make sure that the transition for Elijah would go as smoothly as possible and to give my in-laws adequate time to come down from northern Cal. So, we are scheduled to have a c-section at 5pm on Thursday!

When we got home, I was kind of an emotional mess. I think there were so many emotions going on all at once, and when that happens what usually flows is tears. I think I was disappointed that I didn't make it to week 37. I didn't want any NICU time or hard transition to nursing because their sucking reflexes or lungs aren't developed enough. I have no idea what to expect but we have been praying for super-natural lung development (if immature) in the next two days and that they would spend little or no time in NICU. I am hoping that they would be able to come home with me when I am discharged and that there would be no feeding issues. But, we will have to see. The doctors are pleased that I made it this far in my "small frame" but I wish I could have gone two weeks longer. I also wish the babies were bigger....I am hoping that the measurement is off by a pound (meaning they weigh around 5lbs plus), just like they were with Elijah! I tried really hard to gain lots of weight. I have gained 30 pounds and because my stomach is so big I have been having harder time eating and keeping food in....

Just the other day, P and I were talking about how much we missed Elijah now that he's in preschool five days a week. We have two hours after school to play and then, it's nap time, and then, maybe we have another 3-4 hours. I haven't been able to do as much with him since being on bed-rest. I felt sad that I won't get to have more Elijah time before the babies come. Nevertheless, we are so grateful to Jesus that he has transitioned well to being at preschool. He loves it and wakes up each morning looking forward to going. We officially created a space on our wall to hang up Elijah's work..... The preschool has been a huge blessing for us and for him.

Now, I am frantically trying catch up on Elijah's blog so that I can make a book of his first two years of life. I'm really close....a couple of more postings and then, I should be ready.... It kind of feels surreal that we will be meeting the girls in less than two days!! I'm not sure if I'm feeling "ready" but I'm glad P is! I think Elijah is getting himself ready too.....he keeps playing babies and today, we shared that they will be coming out in two days....In two days, we will become a family of FIVE! WOW! Who would have thought that two years ago? No wonder my emotions have been all over the map.

On bed rest...

A total bummer, but I need to do what the doctor prescribed to keep the babies inside. She (and neither do we) does not want the babies to come out yet....they still need a few more weeks in the oven to develop their lungs and fatten up more.

My good friend Sharon and I went to get a pedicure done before the babies' arrival. She's also expecting and her due date is only a couple of weeks away. To make a long story short, I found out that I was spotting and left as soon as my toenails were cut. I need to go back and get them nicely painted. Anyway, she followed me all the way to Glendale and by the time we got there, I could tell I was having some mild contractions. They monitored me and gave me two shots to stop "uterine irritability" which felt like bad cramping which a nurse explained is a precursor to contractions. It took a little over six hours before I was discharged. I was so ready to go home! Anyway, now, I am on bed rest. I was hoping for a partial bed rest. But, it's a full one. I'm having a hard time imagining myself sitting on my behind all day...."You can get up to go to the bathroom and get something to eat." Those words were my instruction from the nurse. That pretty much means, I need to sit on my butt or lie down all day.....God have mercy on me!

There is so much to do before the girls arrive, but we're just going to have to take it one day at a time. Hopefully, if I rest enough and do well, maybe they will take me off of bed rest....I have no idea how it works, but the nurse basically warned me that the next time I come in due to contractions, I might have to be put on bed rest in the hospital. I definitely don't want that!

The Final Stretch....

Five more weeks to go until we meet our girls! I've been slowly but steadily getting ready for their arrival. I can tell we're nearing the final stretch of the pregnancy because starting Friday, I will be going in for monitoring (Non-Stress Test) of the twins twice a week until week 37. Today, I filled out the pre-registration form, signed up for a CPR class, and a sibling class for Elijah at the hospital. I've been wanting to take a CPR class for a long time so I decided to take the opportunity to do it before the twins arrive. The sibling class is to help the older child get ready for the arrival of their new sibling(s)....I don't know exactly what it will entail, but it sounds like it would be a good way to help Elijah understand some of the changes that he will experience. I especially like the fact that they give a short tour of the hospital room where mommy will be staying. I think it will help Elijah to know where I will be when I am not at home with him. I'm really grateful that there are resources like this available here.

I think we might be getting close to deciding on names for the girls.....however, we might decide to announce the names after they are born rather than before.....

I laugh at how many comments I have received from people about the size of my round belly. I guess perhaps people feel more "free" to share what they think because they feel that it is less likely for someone to feel offended by "You're really small..." than, "You're huge!" :) I'm not offended but I've been surprised at how much people (strangers too) want to tell me what they think of the size of my belly, especially when they learn that I have twins in there. I feel huge and have gained almost 30 pounds....but, I take it as a compliment that I don't look like a whale. ;)

Week 31!

and six more weeks to go!!

Our little girls are doing great! This pregnancy has been so different from my previous pregnancy with Elijah. Absolutely no complications! PTL! I learned that I am carrying 6pounds and 5 ounces of babies right now. (Baby girl A: 3 lbs 4 oz. Baby girl B: 3lbs. 1oz.) Elijah weighed 6 lbs 14 oz at birth at 40 weeks....My gosh, I'm going to be huge in six weeks. I am working hard to take it easy so that the girls can stay in the oven for six more weeks. But, I think when week 37 rolls around, I will be ready to have them out. I can't even lie down for the ultrasound on my back because I feel like I'm going to pass out....so all my ultrasounds have been with lying on my left side. I wonder what our girls are going to be like.... We're still working on names.

Today, we purchased a used Combi double stroller from craigslist. You gotta love great deals! I'm waiting for my twin nursing pillow that I won from ebay. I also bought a matching set of premie outfit for the twin girls for their return home clothes in case they are small. I still need to go through some clothes that folks have given me. We're waiting to receive our two Combi infant car seats that we bought on ebay too. Our in-law's Jetta cannot hold two Graco car seats and a toddler one. So, we're waiting to see how they fit before we make a decision about whether we need to purchase one for Elijah too. It is on my to do list....

So, I have a few things I want to accomplish in the next six weeks:

• Catch up on blog entries for Elijah's blog so that I can make a book of his first two years of life from the blog
• Catch up on blog entries for this blog
• Choose names for the girls
• Help Elijah settle in at his preschool (Yes, he started preschool on Monday! He also turned two last Saturday!)
• Organize clothes that I have received from people
• Make a list of things I still need
• Get plenty of rest so that the girls can continue to grow in the oven until 37 weeks

Only six more weeks and the craziness will begin!!