What I appreciate about Christmas in India

I have been thinking about how different the season leading up to Christmas has been for us this year. A friend had sent me a funny e-card with animation of some of the ways Christmas can be stressful due to all the hustle and bustle. As I watched it, I thought to myself, I am so grateful that my days leading up to Christmas has not been like that. I have been really appreciating and enjoying what India has to offer during the Christmas season.

1) I love our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree! It is refreshing to have a very small Christmas tree in a way. Its smallness has felt special. It is not flashy or have that "larger than life" presence in the house, but it is still beautiful to behold. There is beauty that radiates from simplicity and smallness. I also have been realizing how much I enjoy our nativity set. I would love to collect nativity sets from various countries.

2) I really appreciate the time I have had for thinking more about the meaning of Christmas. I have been reflecting a lot on the Christmas story and the words,"The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us." Those few words have been carrying a lot of meaning for me, especially this year.

3) Caroling!! We have had carolers come and share in the joys of Christmas in our home. So far we have had over fifty people stop by to celebrate Christmas with us in songs and fellowship. It has been a lot of fun.

4) I am appreciating the fact that the lack of "visible signs" of Christmas means more opportunities for us to do what we can to remember and think about Christmas. In the States, you are bombarded with Christmas music, lights, and people rushing about. Here, we intentionally play Christmas music to help us be reminded of what we are celebrating this season. It has been meaningful to anticipate Christmas in midst of everyday living without the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping!

5) This year, I kind of feels like I am in on God's little secret, like the wise men, Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, Zachariah, the angels and the shepherds who got to hear good news of great joy meant for all people, but most of the world didn't notice when Jesus was born. For most people, it was just another birth of a baby, but these people, they heard the significance of Jesus' entry into the world. So as Christmas is approaching, I feel great joy as I prepare my heart to celebrate Jesus' quiet entry into this world.

Merry Christmas!

Our First Wedding in India

Last week, we attended our first wedding in India. We took so many photos that it took some time for me sift through them and choose a few that you can see so that you can get a flavor for weddings here. However, you have to keep in mind that India is a large country with many different ethnic groups with their own language, dress, and traditions. So, our wedding experience represents a small segment of population in India.

We really enjoyed being part of the festivities. It was interesting to see both western influence and the Nepali tradition side by side. One of the ways that I saw western influence was in the wedding ceremony and what the groom and bride wore for their wedding. However, many things that took place before and after the wedding still followed the Nepali tradition. I recorded below a quick summary of each day so that when you view the photos, you have some idea of what the wedding was like.

Day 1 (for us): Preparation
We spent this day learning how to beat rice to make flour for the traditional snack called selroti. We now know the process of making selroti and it is a lot of work! It was time to help out, relax, hang out with the extended family and close friends of the groom's family.

Day 2: Wedding Day!
We learned that the groom and his family travel to the bride's home for the actual ceremony. So, we got to tag along with the groom's extended family to celebrate the marriage of Sanju and Naomi. It was a challenge trying to walk around in the steep hills with my sari on. The wedding ceremony itself was not much different from the ones back in the States.... I'm not sure what I was expecting but I did not expect it to be so similar.

After the ceremony, the reception was held. I liked how the newlyweds had a designated "receiving room" for guests to come and give their congratulations to the newlywed. We ate and then the family was called up to a private room. The parents of the groom and the bride, along with their extended family exchanged gifts with one another and made plans for the following day. Afterwards, we all said our goodbyes and returned to the groom's parents' place. The newlyweds were to spend the night there. We were told that if we had come from a distance, then the bride's family would be responsible for housing the extended family.

Day 3: Another reception at the groom's parents!
The morning began with a few men of the groom's family going back to the bride's home to get the groom and the bride. It was the day that the bride officially left her family and joined her husband's. I found it interesting that the aspect of Bible teaching where it says "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" has yet to impact the tradition. I had asked the groom's mom whether she would be crying at the ceremony and her response was, "No, because I gain a daughter. But the daughter's family will." It is the woman who leaves her father and mother and joins another family as often the newlyweds live together with the groom's parents.

The newlyweds were greeted by many people who had been eagerly waiting for their arrival. I couldn't help but to wonder if the bride felt a little overwhelmed in being greeted by a crowd after she had just said goodbye to her family...

You will see in the photo album some of the traditions practiced upon the arrival of the newlyweds at the groom's. I'm not sure what they all mean.

The reception began at 11am with a steady flow of guests until about 8pm. I think about 600 guests had come by for some time to eat, socialize, and congratulate both the newlyweds and the parents of the groom. I got to pretend that I was Nepali and worked as an attendant in the buffet line. We were pretty tired by 8pm and left as it looked like things were over. Of course we learned that after we left the fun continued with dancing!

We came back the following morning to say hello and good bye before heading for home. People were busy taking down stuff. I also learned that in the Nepali tradition, the bride must cook a meal for the whole extended family that evening. Traditionally, this was the way for the new daughter-in-law to learn her way around in the kitchen. I remember how I felt the day after our wedding and I know I would not have wanted to cook for a dozen people! (I am so glad for the tradition of honeymoon in the States!) But then this is coming from a westernized Asian woman's perspective. It was a great cultural experience and we are grateful we were included in the festivities.

You can view photos here: http://picasaweb.google.com/grafsbiz/OurFirstWeddingInIndia?authkey=JJq79BZpuZY

Introvert Time

We returned yesterday from attending our first Indian wedding. I am sooo tired. We got the insider scoop on the wedding from planning, set-up, to the whole shindig which meant a lot of fun and a lot of work for three days! I am exhausted. I will post photos and maybe some thoughts about the wedding soon. For now, I badly need some introvert time.

Our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

This may sound kind of horrible to some folks, but when we were living in the States, there were times when we didn't put up a Christmas tree. I guess in general, Paul and I are not the "sentimental" and into "traditions" kind of people. I am no Ms. Martha Stewart and I am not that into holiday decoration and stuff, although I can get into it. We dread going Christmas shopping. Unfortunately, many times it meant that we would wait until the last minute to do our shopping, which would end up being even more hectic! I remember once going to some department store the day after Christmas to exchange something and I saw incredible sale prices. I told Paul that we should just shop for each other the day after Christmas and get a small token just to open on Christmas day with everyone. Whooo... STOP. I am finding myself starting to go off on tangent from what I was originally intending to write about, so I'm going to stop. Back to my original purpose....

We inherited a Christmas tree from one of our ex-pat friends who were leaving for the States. Anyway, since there is no visual sign of Christmas anywhere in Siliguri, we decided to decorate our home a little bit this year. It is nice to have something visible to remind us of the Advent season and the reason behind our celebration.

I thought putting up the Christmas tree and displaying the nativity set (which I love looking at) would help us in feeling more at home, but it made me homesick! I think it was the first time that I felt it intensely... I don't miss over commercialized Christmas, (although since there is nothing here, sometimes I feel like it would be nice to have a little) but, I miss times with family. For now, our Charlie Brown Christmas tree and our nativity scene will help us in remembering the true Christmas spirit.

FECAI Annual Retreat

I want to try to capture what the FECA India's annual retreat was like so I created a photo album for you. I didn't have the time to write the captions for each photo, but some of the photos in the album will be obvious. The retreat was a lot of fun with good teachings, fellowship, and good food. Every year, there is the Bible Quiz (by region) and the Skit competition. The region of Assam won the Bible Quiz competition and the region of Kalimpong won the skit competion. Too bad I didn't take a photo of the trophies! They were huge! There is much more to say about the retreat, but I think I will end here. Maybe another time... For photos, you can go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/grafsbiz/200711FECAIRetreat?authkey=VKHMe8t9JB8

Here is a video from the retreat. We haven't quite learned all the words to this song, but we will soon! :) It is so nice to be able to sing Nepali worship songs and understand what we are singing!

Living in the crazy world but not of it

Two days ago, Paul and I had to make a quick run to Nepal. As we were getting our entry visa in India we saw a couple of tourists. They were planning to go to Darjeeling and we told them that they probably won’t be able to go up because there is a bandh (a strike). One of the tourists response was “Oh, is it a strike by one of the trade unions or something?” All we could say was that strikes in India is different than in the west and often everything shuts down completely. A bandh is a form of political protest here. Anyone with enough influence can call a bandh, closing down businesses and transportation. They enforce the bandh with groups of “supporters” who go around and beat up shop owners or trash shops that are still open for business. Things shut down because people are afraid.

I am starting to adjust to the unpredictability of life here and I feel like I am slowly beginning to grasp some of the political and ethnic tensions that exist. However, the longer I live here, the more I realize how difficult it is to describe what India is like.

In Darjeeling, violence erupted a few days ago because there was an assassination attempt on one of the political leader. A bandh was called and Darjeeling has been shut down for three days. The current political party is declaring that the strike will go on indefinitely until the opposition party’s leadership is arrested. Some people speculate though that the assassination attempt was actually made by the reigning political party as an excuse to arrest the opposition. I have no idea which is true. The army was called in and a curfew enforced. Our annual retreat is starting on Tuesday. As of now, the highway that goes to Sikkim is closed. We have no idea whether we will be able to have a retreat! I hope things get resolved peacefully, although my intuition says we might need to get ready for some messiness and interruption.

This morning I read about a riot in Guwahati between the town people and the Adivasis (a group of tribal groups). The Adivasis were protesting to gain a special caste status when violence that broke out between the two groups. The images of men beaten while people stood by and of a woman being dragged in the street by a man were quite disturbing. Why do we treat each other like this?















I have been reading about Bangladesh and the suffering of the people whose lives have been devastated by cyclone Sidr. It is so weird for me that Bangladesh is so close yet it feels so far away. I have been amazed at the lack of news in India regarding it…. I have noticed that there might be one day of news coverage on a natural disaster in this region and that’s it. I’m not sure why. Sometimes I wonder if it is because natural disaster is something that people expect on a yearly basis and they are so accustomed to it that it doesn’t bother them as much. If I want to know what is happening in Bangladesh (or even flooding in India) I have to rely on the west to get the news.

Meanwhile, Black Friday (or the day after Thanksgiving Sales rush) seems to be the main news in the States. I never really understood the frenzy in the States even when I lived there - but being here, let’s say it feels even more foreign. I watched the news coverage of the situation in Bangladesh where people were screaming for bottles of water, immediately to be followed by the news coverage of throngs of Americans lined up in front of Circuit City jostling each other to get the best deal on the newest gadget. What juxtaposition! Paul turns to me and sarcastically says, “Well, I guess we all have different sorts of problem.” I was kind of speechless. I had to ask, “Are we living in the same world?” If anything, it made me realize again what a crazy world we live in. It made me think again about what it means that we are in this world, but not of this world.

I Can See for Miles....

I, Paul was inspired today by the views. Siliguri is not known as a tourist destination. In travel books it gets comments like, "An extended bus stop with fast food" and "Don't stay there any longer than necessary." It does have all sorts of problems, but we are learning as we live here to appreciate some of it's good points. It is cooler than Calcutta, it doesn't get flooded like Bangladesh, it is easier to reach than Darjeeling (and it has a reliable water supply), and it is not freezing cold in winter (like it is up in the hills).

Recently the weather has been cool and clear. It is only for a few months of the year, but it is quite nice. Visibility has been great, and many mornings we can see a few snow capped peaks of the Himalayas. It's a long way off, so today I opened Google-Earth to see just how far it was. It turns out the peak is 65 miles away.


Picture #3 gives you a different perspective of the same view. If you click on the picture, you can get a more detailed view. Our house is at the left end of the white line, the peak on the right. The yellow line is the border with Nepal (and where you see it in the distance the Nepal Tibet border). The big cluster of mountains to the left of the line is Mt. Kanchenjunga, the world's third tallest peak. We've posted other pictures of it, but the hills in between block the view from our house.


If you were standing behind that peak and look back at our house, you would see picture #4. Here the yellow line is the India- Bangladesh border (straight ahead) and the India-Nepal Border (on the right side).

I'd like to actually get to those mountains some day. We've been to the hills, but mostly to our friend houses which are lower down. So I'll enjoy the mountains from a distance and appreciate the good things about Siliguri for now.

Happy Thanksgiving!

As I write this, most folks back at home are probably waking up to Thanksgiving day morning. Happy Thanksgiving!

Last year, we didn't get to celebrate Thanksgiving as we were in transit from Nepal to India. But, this year was different. We just came back from a fabulous Thanksgiving meal with a couple of ex-pat friends and their families. It was truly a taste of home! I would say turkey was the only missing traditional Thanksgiving dish (chicken was fine!). We even had cranberry sauce (from Thailand). We all pitched in and brought different dishes. What a feast it truly was! We worked off our meal with badminton, instead of American football. :) We are thankful for friends.

Not that weird anymore

When I first came to India in 2004 I was completely overwhelmed by the constant honking noise on the streets. When I returned back to the States after a month of being here, I spent a whole month driving around in my car without music turned on. I wanted silence. I think I did this for a little over a month and even after that, I thought twice before turning on the radio or the CD player.

As we were riding around on our scooter today, I couldn't help but start laughing at myself. Why the laughter? Because I have been finding myself telling Paul that he needs to honk MORE! I actually find myself feeling more safe when he's honking. Honking warns people to watch out because there is a fast moving vehicle nearby. There have been times when motorcylists would sneak up behind us or next to us without honking and my immediate reaction would be, "Dude, you need to Honk!" The constant honking that I find near the markets still drives me nuts. But, I understand more the reasons behind the honking now that we operate our own vehicle. Honking does not seem as weird, rude , or irritating as it once did!

We never thought we would find ourselves driving on the wrong side of the street or breaking what we would consider normal traffic "rules." But let's just say we are maybe starting to get a little too comfortable with breaking the "rules"? If you want to avoid the big pot holes, the cows, or that really slow bicycle rickshaw....well...you end up on the opposite side.

Punctuality was (and still is to some extent) something we value. But, we find ourselves showing up to things late (sometimes on purpose because we think no one is going to be there on time). We used to work so hard on trying to be somewhere on time, but these days we find ourselves a little more lax. Moreover, if we know we have to be somewhere on time and we are walking, we have to give plenty of time to run into people on the streets for chit-chat. For the most part, punctuality is valued and some people hate the culture of "lateness." I guess we know with whom we need to be on time and with whom we could relax and take our time because even when we're late, they're not there!

Things that used to drive us a little nutty and seemed quite odd, they are becoming less so. In 2009, when we come home for a furlough, I wonder whether we would find America a little odd. :)

Noticing the Change

We have been getting warnings from the State Department in Kolkata about Cyclone Sidr for the last three days. The weather today is definitely different compared to the last few days of sun. The sky is gray, ominous, and it looks like a storm may come soon, but no rain or wind is seen here. I read that so far at least 242 people have been killed in Bangladesh.... Thankfully, the eastern coast of India has been spared for now. We'll see if it affects our region in any significant way.

What is in season?

When I was living in the States I had no idea when certain vegetables and fruits were in or out of season. Maybe once in a while I would notice the price fluctuation here and there, but that was about it. Since living in India, I have become much more aware of which fruits and vegetables are in season. I have been surprised to find myself looking forward to change in season knowing that certains fruits and vegetables will become available.

Currently, I am thoroughly enjoying spinach! I have been having spinach salad almost everyday and I don't think I will get sick of it. It will disappear sometime around February. So, I have the next three months to enjoy them! We also have green onions (scallions) available now to garnish various dishes. Mangoes and lychee have been replaced by oranges, pomegranates, and apples. When the mangoes were in season, Paul made killer mango salsa! Hmmm!! I've been making my one apple cobbler per month as I promised Paul and it has been pretty tasty. I told him he better enjoy it because when March and April hits, apples will be scarce. I have yet to see things like kiwis, strawberries, peaches, apricots, plums, and honey dew melons. Well, I guess you can't have everything in life. I'm enjoying the change in season in various ways!

I think I can, I think I can...

Today, I started learning how to ride the scooter. In all honesty, I am not very excited about it. I'm actually quite freaked out by it. The geometry of the scooter, its weight, and speed (although not very fast, feels fast!) make me feel a little out of control. I'm learning how to cruise, accelerate, and break. I also tried turning a bit, but it felt quite uncomfortable. We were practicing at a hotel parking lot after working out and I almost ran a guy over. I was not going very fast, but I panicked and instead of breaking I accelerated. Breaking has not become second nature yet. I have to remind myself to break and to let go of the accelerator simultaneously. Anyway, I found myself talking to myself, "I know I can.. I know I can.. I know you can!" With practice, I know I will eventually learn to ride the scooter, but the real question is do I want to learn it? Right now, my honest answer is, "Not really." But then, once I can move around on it, I probably would be glad that I decided to learn.... Let's just say it's going to take a lot of practice before I feel comfortable getting out on that crazy road!

Country Roads...

Imagine two 1/2 Bengali 1/2 Nepali men, three Germans, one Tibetan, one South Indian, one American, and one Korean-American belting out the song Country Roads! We made friends with two couples from our church who are middle-class. We were invited to a birthday party and they whipped out their guitars and started singing, among other things Country Roads. Paul and I decided to switch West Virginia for California for nostalgia sake. Here's the video of the crew having a little fun...



Interestingly, we were all inter-racial couples: German-Begali/Nepali; German-South Indian; Tibetan-Bengali/Nepali; American-Korean. Throughout the night, Nepali, German, and English were being thrown around while we enjoyed Bengali food and lots of singing and laughter. I don't know all the words to the song, but the Indians sure did! Other features of the night were Beatles songs, a little CCR, and a Bob Dylan impersonation. Who would have guessed the song Country Roads would be a common thread between three continents and five ethnic groups!

I'm completely biased...

and I can't help it. I think they are the best!! I just love my nephews and I can't get enough of them. I tried to post their photos on the sidebar of the blog, but for whatever reason, the blogger site is not cooperating. So, I'm posting them here. If you had nephews like mine, you would be posting their photos too! ;) I just adore them! Lots of kissies and huggies from yee-mo, Jeshua & Seth!

Christmas in November?

All over our town and in surrounding areas, Christmas lights twinkle throughout the night. If I didn't know any better, I might have thought that they are gearing up for Christmas already. The truth is that Diwali (the festival of lights) is just around the corner. Today, the roads are bustling with traveling cars, people going about shopping, and getting ready to celebrate. I am still in the process of learning more about Hinduism and various religious festivals here, but it is one of the two biggest festivals. You can read more about this festival by going to these two websites.
http://www.bawarchi.com/festivals/diwali1.html
http://www3.kumc.edu/diversity/ethnic_relig/diwali.html


Sometimes it is hard for me to tell whether Diwali holds deep meaning for people or if it has become more commercialized like Christmas is in the U.S. Last year in Nepal, we spent some time with our Hindu friends in their celebration of Diwali and it consisted mainly of killing a lamb, eating lots of food, playing games, exchanging gifts, and giving money to carolers! I don't think they even visited a temple, but then they described themselves as nominal Hindus. Here in India, most of our neighbors are Buddhists, so they don't celebrate Diwali. Their big festival time is in February.

I wonder what Christmas time will be like here, but if it is anything like last year, I'm sure there will be no external signs of Christmas anywhere! However, we're planning to put up a fake Christmas tree up this year which we inherited from an ex-pat couple who left for the States. It would be nice to have something to remind us of Christmas. We're not sure what we're doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I'm sure we'll figure something out!

Home Sweet Home

After being on the road on and off for the last three weeks, I am glad to be home. We don't have any plans to travel outside of our town until the last week of November. Our trips away from home have been very productive and enjoyable, but now, I am ready to stay put for a couple of weeks. :) I get to sleep in my bed, drink lots of water (I feel like I've had enough tea to last a couple of months), eat less oily food (my skin has been breaking out!), and have lots of introverted time!! It's really nice to be home.

Bandh

It's 8am here and I'm back in my room, shortly after leaving home to go visit a slum community. Usually, by 6:30am, I could hear the honking noises outside our apartment complex, but this morning, it seemed unusually quiet. I got ready and walked outside to catch an auto-rickshaw around 7:30am and quickly realized that there is a bandh (a strike) today. I only saw motorcycles, cargo trucks, and army vehicles pass me by. I was anticipating a bandh as I have been reading about the agitation in Nandigram over land issue, so I'm not surprised in a way. I guess I'm learning more how things work around here...

My plans for the day have been completely shot, businesses will lose a day's profit, children lose yet another day in the classroom (although many are closed for Hindu holiday), and many people's travel plans and daily lives completely interrupted. It has been a while since we had a bandh, but I wonder if we're in for more because I don't think this agitation in Nandigram is going to end any time soon. I have also heard that our state of West Bengal is known for bandhs and the rest of India even laugh at us for being so archaic in how we deal with our problems! Oh well... I'll just have to change my plans for the day!
****Update**** Ha! LOL!! It's only 9:30am now my plans have changed such that I'm leaving for Kalimpong around 3pm with Cindy P. and some other folks (if that is no one stops us.). The strike continues on until tomorrow and they were concerned that I might not have a ride up tomorrow, so I'm leaving this afternoon. Plans are made, they change, and may change again! Who knows, we may not be able to leave today. Oh, the joys of living here! :)

On a different note, I am loving the cooler weather these days!!! It's cool, dry, and as I write, I could feel the cool breeze through the open windows!! I have lived through all seasons in India--hot/humid, wet/hot/humid, and cool/dry! Winter will be here soon. :)

A new photo album

I decided that shutterfly takes too long to upload photos and etc. So, I switched to Picasa. Hopefully, I will update it more frequently. Picasa seems much more user friendly. You can view our photos by clicking where it says, "click here" under Picasa Web Album. Or your can go to this website. http://picasaweb.google.com/grafsbiz/October2007?authkey=GY98elR3SwU

Enjoy!

Three Unrelated Thoughts

Thought #1: We are currently in Mirik, another hill station to conduct training for the leaders of the Winter Gospel Trek. Fifteen FECA India staff are here to receive training for 90 hours of Bible Study that they will be leading for a month. They will trek through various villages sharing the good news and doing survey of the needs in these areas, and doing Bible Study in their teams 3 hours a day.

I'm having so much fun! Our Nepali has improved (although not as much as we would like), but significantly enough that we can carry on conversations and understand a lot! I can now ask people about what is happening in their fields and understand what they share. Also, it's nice to have a small group of people to train and get to know in depth. Anyway, I'm really enjoying myself. I love leading small group discussions.... it's my preferred method of teaching.

Thought #2: I learned today that I am going to have a niece!! I am so excited! I have four adorable nephews, so it would be fun to have a niece too. My nephew, Jeshua has been praying for a baby sister, although Seth has been hoping for a baby brother. My sister shared that Jeshua is thrilled!! She is also overjoyed as she has been hoping for a girl.

Thought #3: It's been surreal to read about the mass evacuation in SD due to the raging fires in the area. My brother and sister-in-law were evacuated, but have returned home. I hope that the Santa Ana wind dies down quickly. Those of you who are in S.Cal are in my prayers.

Personal Retreat in the Queen of the Hills

We spent the last four days on a personal retreat in Darjeeling, also affectionately known as the Queen of the Hills. We were lucky to have clear skies, crisp but not too cold temperature, a hotel with an awesome view (the developer of our apartment is the owner), and lots of time to read, sleep, pray, reflect, and talk. I also got a hair cut and my eye brows shaped (the Indian way--see photo)! (I finally have a beauty salon I like thanks to my friend from church who recommended this place!) What a treat!! Here are some pics. Enjoy!

Mt. Kanchenjunga (the third highest peak in the world) is the mountain that I saw in my dream sometime in October of 2003. I never get tired of gazing at the mountain for it is a very tangible reminder of God's call upon our lives.

LA Traffic is Nothing!

If you think Los Angeles traffic is horrendous, Siliguri traffic is even crazier. I learned that it takes an hour just to travel about four miles (3.7 miles to be exact) on public transportation during the rush hour. I timed our travel time from our flat to the training venue. We had two hours of commute every day to travel eight miles! Now, that’s traffic for you when you share the same road with cyclers, pedestrians, cargo trucks, cars, and cows!!

Here are some photos of some FECA India women who ended up staying with me this week due to lack of accomodation space. I learned how to make some Nepali food and they got to taste Korean food. It was a lot of fun but I am tired. I'm glad to have my husband home and for some time to relax a bit! :)

A Cake and a Cobbler

We celebrated Paul’s birthday today with Daya (FECA India director) and his family. In India, you eat the cake before dinner, we learned. We’ll be celebrating his birthday again (just the two of us) on Saturday with an apple cobbler. I’ll let you know how it turns out. My birthday gift to him by request: One apple cobbler per month for one year! I’m ready for the challenge. ;)

Update: The apple cobbler turned out great! We didn't have any tart apples (in two months we will!), so it lacked the tang, but it was still pretty good. Paul has been munching on it all day long! :)

What is she?

I have been noticing that people have been staring at me... When I sense a stare, I usually stare right back at them with a smile and I usually get a smile in return. Once in a while, someone would be bold enough to come and ask me, “What are you?" or "Where are you from?” I’ve been attending a training seminar for children’s ministry workers and I have been finding that people (both whites and Indians) are not sure what to do with me. It’s quite funny actually… the white westerners are quite taken back when they hear my perfect English because they had assumed that I was Nepali/Indian. The Indians are taken back because I speak Nepali (these days, certain phrases I sound like a native) and English and I seem to feel comfortable mingling with the westerners and Indians.

During dinner Januka, one of my friends shared that a couple of people from the training had approached her and asked what I was. She told them that I was Korean, but that I came from America and I am married to an American. Then she said to me, “Didi, they were all surprised that you were married. They all thought you were a young 20 something year old girl!” Maybe that’s why people have been staring…trying to figure out my age! ;) j/k Gosh, the last time I heard something like this was when I was 27 years old and someone at the gas station thought I was a sophomore in college! What’s my secret? No make up and my mom’s gene. :)

Premonition?

For the first time since leaving the States, Paul and I are spending the next three to four days away from each other. He left today for Sikkim to train the accountant on some accounting stuff, while I stayed behind to attend a children's ministry training which begins tomorrow. Basically, I will be home alone until Wednesday or Thursday until he returns.

After Paul left, I thought to myself, "Now that Paul's gone, I bet a mouse or something like it will turn up..." (I'm serious here. I seriously had this thought...) I look to..., no, I depend on Paul to take care of things like this in the house. (We haven't had any problems with rodents so far.) Wouldn't you believe it? To my utter astonishment, while I was watching a movie, I noticed a small blackish gray thing scurry across the dining room into the kitchen and then into a bedroom. I couldn't believe my eyes! It was a small mouse. I was so afraid of it that I went downstairs and knocked on my neighbor's door. Our neighbor kindly came up but we couldn't locate the darn thing. "He's a lot smaller than you. He won't hurt you," my neighbor reassured me as he left. I thanked him and wondered where in the heck did it hide?

I decided to relax and try to enjoy my movie again. Then, I saw it again out of the corner of my eyes and it went inside the kitchen. As soon as it was in the kitchen, I quickly shut the door so that it couldn't get out. Then I ran downstairs to my neighbor's again. He kindly came up again laughing. He searched all over the kitchen and couldn't find that little rodent! I was flabbergasted. Where could it have gone?? I went inside the kitchen to help with the search. As I lifted a cereal bag, I saw something move really quickly. I must have let out a big scream because it made my neighbor jump! I was certain it was going to jump on me and eat me alive!! My neighbor saw it and tried to go after it, but it was too fast. I should have kept the kitchen door closed, but I had left it open and it was gone again!!! The search continued, but we finally gave up when we couldn't locate it any where. I said thank you again as he reassured me, "Don't worry. It will just go and look for some food but it won't bother you." Unfortunately, I didn't feel very reassured.

About five minutes later, I saw that small black gray disgusting rodent scurry itself back into the kitchen. Now, it's kind of late so I don't want to bother my neighbors again. So for now, the kitchen door is locked so that I can get some sleep and tomorrow morning, I hope we could get rid of it! Where is your husband when you need him?!
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UPDATE: It is dead. I'm glad to have gotten rid of it, but I must say I feel a little guilty for killing it.... I have noticed that ever since moving to India, I find myself sometimes feeling bad for killing bugs, (except for mosquitoes). Maybe it will be another blog entry, but I actually worry about how I'm going to get rid of the bugs. I hate using the bug sprays because I think they would suffer as they die... weird, huh? Maybe that's why geckos are my new best friends.

Encouraged by the News

Our director in India asked me to edit a letter that one of his coordinators had written with some specific information about the work happening in Assam. There are over four million Nepalis in Assam and the majority have not been reached with the good news. It is a new field for our workers and the majority of the new staff are being sent there.

As I edited the letter, I was very encouraged by the report. Many of the names were familiar from the new staff training in April. When joining FECA India, the staff must be open to being sent anywhere. Many of them come from the cool hills where Nepalis are the dominant group. Assam is extremely hot, Nepalis are in the minority, and it is even less developed. When we were there in 2004, they had put us in the nicest guest house in town, but it had no running water because the pipe was broken. It was the monsoon, so we had buckets collect rain water to take showers. Recently, one supervisor from Assam shared with me how even the Nepali dialect is quite different there, and how hard it has been to adjust. The state is known for its instability and many rebel movements. For many of the new staff, Assam is like a foreign country to them.

I can still remember some of them crying at the new staff training because they were assigned to go to Assam. It was a scary idea for them... they were going to be far away from their family, friends, and familiar surroundings. But, they chose to go, accepted their calling, and many are doing well. Here are a few excerpts from the report.

Mr. N. Sherpa has been diligently working in this place, sharing the gospel, and trying to win people to the love of Jesus. He has been visiting house to house. Presently, he is working among the youths who are found to be more receptive than their parents. He is greatly loved by the people.

Ms. N. Lepcha and Ms. D. Lepcha are at work and doing good ministry.....More children are being added in the Sunday school and their residence is no longer suitable to hold the Sunday school. They are currently looking for another house. Please pray for this matter.

Mr. A. Subba is doing a great job and he has five families assembled for Sunday fellowship. But, he is facing difficulty in locating a place to hold the fellowship. Many youths are coming to the fellowship to lean more about Christ.

Mr. P. Tenzing started Sunday school and tuitions from last month . About 35 children are attending both..... Many of the people here struggle with addictions. He continues to share....He has been staying at another believer's house because the Nepali people, to this date, has yet to give him a house to reside in. Please pray for Mr. Tenzing and this field.

I thank God for them as I remember them in my prayers. I hope we get to visit them sometime soon. Please pray for them.

2922 days of Marital Bliss!

We celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary today. As Paul reminded me, we have known each other 9 years and 11 months…almost a decade! We often laugh about that fateful November day at the Rose Bowl where we met. Paul likes to call it “the day when she tricked me into sitting next to her.” I like to call it “a well planned strategy that worked beautifully to my advantage.” I had orchestrated a perfect plan by making sure that there was an empty seat available on the bleacher for Paul to sit, if he chose to. Yes, it was very crowded, but I tell him he could have decided to sit somewhere else. My guess was that he was drawn to that empty seat when he saw a cute 25 year old girl sitting there. I say he wanted to be “tricked”! That day was almost 10 years ago, but I can still remember how I felt as I kept my fingers crossed that no one other than Paul would sit next to me at the very end of the bleacher. He did and there has been no going back since then.

As I reflected on our marriage, something that we have been blessed to have is a lot of time together. When we started dating, I lived across the street from him. We saw each other almost every day. Our dates did not consist of once a week dress up, go out to a movie, dinner, and fork out the dough - although we had some of those too. But mostly, I remember cooking together, going to the park and taking lots of walks. Since then, we have been able to spend a lot of time together as we did ministry. This past year, we probably spent more time together than ever! The good sign is that we still really like being around each other and working along side each other. There is no one else I would rather be with.

However, our marriage is not all roses either. This past year living in India has tested our marriage at times. We have discovered some new dynamics in our marriage that we have had to evaluate and are still working through. Just last week, we had a big argument. No, we didn’t yell, scream, throw dishes, or pull out each other’s hair, but we were both pretty darn angry at each other. We worked hard to work through it and come to a better understanding of each other before going to bed. But we were both raw from it for a couple of days. It helped us realize that we both have some things we need to change. Our marriage is not perfect, but one thing I appreciate about our marriage is that we can have good fights. It may take us a couple of tries to really understand where the other person is coming from, but for the most part, we work really hard to listen and understand. I am so grateful that God brought Paul into my life as a life partner and friend. I love you babe and Happy Anniversary!

So, what do I love about our marriage?

I love that….
Conflict is never easy, but for the most part, we fight fair
Both of us are committed to growing
No matter where we are, we can have fun together
We are each other’s comic relief and laughter is always readily available
Deep trust and mutual respect are easily given
A little kick in the a— is appreciated and received, when done well
My dear husband never tells me something I am wearing looks great, if he really thinks it looks hideous! Of course it doesn’t mean I always agree, but I still appreciate his honesty. :)

Us celebrating!

Our friends, Joseph and Januka surprised us by bringing a small cake and a card to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It was so sweet of them. Our anniversary date falls on Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday, so they remembered.

Our city under fire

Yesterday, there was a huge riot in our city and an indefinite curfew was called. Violence broke out over some derogatory comments made by a radio DJ in Delhi about Nepalis (also known as Gurkhas) over the Indian Idol win. Over 5,000 Nepalis were marching in protest demanding the arrest of the DJ. Supposedly an ambulance was trying to get through the marchers but they wouldn't move. There was an argument. One newspaper reported as fact that a mob prevented an ambulance from reaching the hospital and beat up the attendants. Another newspaper reported that this was a false rumor that sparked violence against the Nepali crowd. I'm not sure which newspaper report is accurate.... Regardless, shops were trashed, vehicles torched, teargas fired, the police baton charged, and several people suffered gunshot wounds. To calm things down, they called in the army and imposed a martial law. This gives a small glimpse into what we see and feel living here at times.... a time bomb waiting to explode. We're okay; we were a few miles from the violence.
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1070929/asp/siliguri/story_8375339.asp
http://www.hindu.com/2007/09/29/stories/2007092955521400.htm
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Siliguri_erupts_over_RJ_remark_on_Nepalis/articleshow/2413096.cms

Up and running again!

Yesterday we joined a gym and today we exercised our membership rights! It is actually a gym in a hotel but they open it up to outsiders. It is very close to our place, so now, we have no excuse for not getting any exercise. It has AC, which is great! There is also a small swimming pool and a tennis court (run-down but with a net!). I can't believe it has been about nine months since we had a serious work out. I got to run on a treadmill and do some weight training. So, maybe next year, we will be ready for a marathon in the Himalayas? Any one want to join us? ;)

Below are photos of our new vehicle: Our scooter!

Cricket 20-20 World Cup!

This is live from India. I think India won....India must have beat Pakistan in the world cup. The fire crackers are going off everywhere! You could hear the cheers from a mile away, it seems. Honestly, I feel like I am back in Westwood in 1995 when UCLA won both the Rose Bowl game and the NCAA championship. "Woooow!!!" I warmly remember the roar that would resound from all over Westwood. It is happening here! :) Paul is downstairs watching the game at our neighbor's.... He's back and he just declared, "We won!!!" I'm kind of curious to see what the celebration is like tomorrow! :)

And the Winner is....

Prashant Tamang of Darjeeling! Last night was the finale of Indian Idol and Prashant won. We knew because around mid-night the firecrackers started going off and we heard screams and yells from people celebrating outside. (It was a little milder than being in Westwood during NCAA semi-finals or championship.) We heard that over 70 million SMS were received for the finale! Today, the traffic was horrendous as spontaneous celebrations were held, with marches, jeep and three wheeler rallies all celebrating this victory.

Some of you might be wondering, what the heck? What is the big deal? I kind of wondered that too. The shop owner at a computer store we were at kind of helped us understand the hoopla. It is a big deal because it's kind of this obscurity to fame inspirational story. He is from a poor family in a small village, the sole breadwinner, working as a police man in Calcutta. Traditionally, the Nepalis have been "oppressed" by the majority and frequently worked as laborers. So, to have a Nepali win a highly publicized national competition is something worth celebrating. He captures many Nepalis hope to leave their obscure beginnings and make something of themselves.

Prashant could not have won this competition without the Nepali community coming together to support him. The shopkeeper who is from the hills shared that the hotels in Darjeeling provided room and board for folks coming in from Nepal just to vote. Today, the road to Darjeeling is closed because of all the celebration. I even heard that the schools are closed in Darjeeling for a couple of days of celebration. I wonder what Prashant is going to do with his newly found fame. Will he try to run for an office or something by capitalizing on this immense popularity? I hope he uses it for something good.

Tonight is another big event--India vs. Pakistan 20-20 cricket world cup. It occurs every four years and tonight is the world cup final. Everyone will be watching it. It probably will be an exciting game to watch. We're starting to understand the rules of cricket and it is not as boring as I once thought. :)

Culinarily Challenged

I have always been culinarily-challenged. I don’t like cooking and I am not good at it. I actually find cooking quite stressful. WHAT? I know, some of you who find cooking/baking therapeutic must be shocked to hear this, but it’s true. So then, what has possessed me to be baking lemon bars, brownies, banana bread, and cakes from SCRATCH? Why do I find myself in the kitchen teaching our help (actually, learning with her!) how to make pizza, potato salad, spaghetti sauce, and burrito again from SCRATCH? How come I stand over the stove while sweat is dripping off my body making the “limited ingredient” version of yook-gye-jang, mee-yuk-gook, gham-ja-bokum, and mye-re-chi bokum? Why do I get so excited thinking about making turnip kimchee or mul-kimchee? Have I become a believer in culinary therapy?

No way! It is all driven by our desire for variety, for a familiar taste of home, and the fact that you MUST eat to live, so you mind as well make what you crave once in a while! Nothing noble I tell you.

But then, why the stress?

Because I am culinarily challenged and what I make do not always turn out the way it should. For example, last night, I baked brownies to take to our friend’s place. I ended up buying ice-cream on the way and leaving the brownies at home. Let’s just say the brownies looked pretty pathetic.

Sometimes, I don’t have all the necessary ingredients listed in the book. My attitude has always been, “Oh well, if I don’t have it, I won’t use it.” WRONG! I’m learning that when you’re making something from scratch, you can’t always do that. Oops.

The weather—I had no idea it affected cooking! That is how challenged I am.

Our microwave sized oven does not seem to work like the ovens at home. Even my Betty Crocker box of brownie mix I received in a care package turned out over baked and not very tasty. How can it go wrong with the box mix? I am more challenged than I had imagined.

Whenever I go to other ex-pat’s home, they always seem to offer home made desserts that look like they were bought at the Corner Bakery! I know I can never compete with them. So far, practice has not been perfecting my skills! Instead, I find I have managed to produce another version of the same recipe. Please don’t ask how is that possible because I have no idea! Hmm…maybe that’s the problem. Oh, mercy!

I have yet to make Korean food for some of the Korean ex-pats here. I’m going to keep Korean food to myself (and for non-Koreans) as long as I can so that I can live in the illusion that my Korean food tastes just like the ones from Korea. ;)

A new blog

I started a new blog as I've been processing our infertility. If you want to read it, you can go to: http://eggsonpause.blogspot.com/.

A Wimpy "Miss---ary..."

This morning, I woke up early and got ready to go to church. As I was getting ready, I was debating whether I should just wear my hiking boots with my kurta, even if it looks funny, or if I should just let that "dirty wet feet" phobia go and wear my sandals... I cannot stand the sensation of wet feet. So, while my neighbors walk around with their rubber flip-flops, I walk around wearing hiking shoes... what a sight! (I have yet to try wade through the water in sandals. We walk through our kind neighbor's yard to get to any where.) As I was deeply engrossed in my debate, I heard rain falling. It started pouring really hard. Ughh... I wish it would stop raining.... But then no rain means it would get really hot & humid, so I don't know what to wish for really... Anyway, I wondered today if I will ever reach that 'wear the flip-flop, roll your pants up, and wade through the mirky, human waste and trash infested water for the gospel' stage. I feel like such a wimpy miss---ary.

On a different note, I was very proud to hear Paul give an announcement in Nepali at church today. He did a good job. I'm a very proud wife, even if I feel like a wimp. :)

Reasons to be Khusi (Happy)!

Do you remember the malnourished baby named Khusi that I had written about? I spent some time visiting her at my friend's house today. She has been receiving lots of love and infant formula. Look at the transformation! It is unbelievable. At seven months old, she weighed a mere 3 kg (6.6.lbs) a month ago. Now, she is 5.7 kg (12.5 lbs!) PTL! She has gained strength and has been trying to crawl. Her father has been visiting her every week and recently, he asked Cindy if he could get baptized. He's been studying the Word and slowly began showing interest in J'sus. In seeing his daughter last week, he was moved by God's love demonstrated through this caring family. God is so good.

Look at those cheeks!

Here are some before and after shots!

Left: Khusi a month ago at 3kg.

Right: Today at 5.7 kg

Above: Trying to crawl after one month

Left: After one week of regular feeding

Indian Idol

I have never watched American Idol. However, for the first time, I watched Indian Idol at a friend's house about a month ago. It is THE craze here, especially in the Nepali community. Currently, a Nepali guy named Prashant Tamang is one of the two finalist in Indian Idol. He has become the prize of the Nepali community and they are mobilizing people to vote for him. He received over a million SMS votes a couple of weeks ago. A couple of months ago, some Reliance mobile phone offices were trashed by rioters because they were outraged that their SMS votes were unable to get through due to the call volume (mad!). People have been holding rallies, his face is plastered everywhere encouraging people to vote, and people are stocking up on their cellphone recharge cards so that they can vote. It is like he is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread (I don't know what would be equivalent to sliced bread here...momo?--Tibetan dumpling)! As Paul would say, "It is like the entire region is Kelly Clarkson's hometown!"

Three Dreaded Words

HCG Not Detected...

translated into common language: You are Not Pregnant.

Time to bury another coffin, mourn, and let our hearts heal. I'm not sure what we will do next, and right now, I don't really care to think about it. But, I can definitely use a good soon doo bu (spicy soft tofu soup for those of you who are not familiar with Korean food) or that good, greasy, authentic Chinese food from Newport Seafood just about now. Too bad they are not available here. :(

I apologize if I sound a little stoic, but currently, I just feel a little numb.

However, I want to make sure you know how thankful I am for those of you who have been praying with and for us. It would have been nice to hear and repeat three different words to you all....

What is this sound?

India is full of lots of interesting sounds. We want to know if anyone can identity this sound. Whoever gets it correct, your prize is a free Indian dinner at your favorite restaurant. Only redeemable in Siliguri. :) I'll share the correct answer in a couple of days.



No, it is not the sound of robot geese or fans....The correct answer is: FROGS! You can hear them all night long calling each other. :)

Living on an Island

We have been living on an island as of yesterday! We're surrounded by water, but more like a putrid swamp than a prestine lake. Our main and back streets are flooded.. they're both about a foot deep. If I want to get out, I have to wade through the disgusting water. So far, I have been resting at home because Paul has imposed bed rest the last few days due to the bleeding. He has been getting around on a scooter. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we bought a scooter recently. It has been nice to have our own mode of transportation! :)

our back road

The rain has been wreaking havoc in the hills. Sikkim is currently cut off from rest of the country due to many unfortunate landslides. All the main roads are inaccessible. Thankfully, we had no rain today! We really need some dry days because the ground is too saturated. Pray that the rain would cease. It would be most ideal if we had sunny, cool days, but it's near impossible as it is not the season for it. I have read that California has not been any better either recently!

Where did the crispness go?

I stood on a stool to reach the top cabinet where the most treasured food was stashed away. I was going to have something special (yipee!!) for lunch since other things did not sound very appetizing. I was so excited to open up a new packet of gheem (dried, lightly salted, and toasted seaweed) to have with rice for lunch! What a treat it was going to be! :) I tore that packet open with eager anticipation of having my pallet satisfied.

"Hey, what happened?" I extroverted. "Where did the black crisp gheem go?" They looked limp and tasted stale. It was a brand new, never opened packet too. It seems even an unopened packet of food has difficulty withstanding the humidity here. I think the disappointment was exasperated by the fact that I have been carefully "rationing" the 50 pounds (I know!) of Korean food my parents had brought for me in February. ;) I was so proud of myself for the self-control I have been exhibiting! I still have four more packets left to last me until the next shipment in 2008, but now, I'm thinking maybe I should finish them up as fast as I can! What a let down to what should have been a treat!

It is all about the magic age and the jaw!

I can now count ten couples who are engaged to be married by end of 2008, and I predict that there will be a few more coming. One of my recently engaged friends reminded (and thanked :) ) me that I had once prayed for a “movement of dating” at our church. I vaguely remember praying for it, but then, I can totally imagine myself praying such prayer so I believe him! God has been answering that prayer. It’s about time, God! :) Hmm...maybe we should take our furlough in 2008.

About two years ago, I was having a conversation with one of my male friends at church and he asked, “Rebecca, when is it going to be my turn?” I told him something like, “Don’t worry. It will happen when you turn 29 or 30. The magic number is 29, for most guys!” He laughed and said, “Really, 29!” “Yep, I give you my word, 29.” (Hey, you know who you are if you’re reading this! BTW, congratulations on your engagement!)

So, here is my theory #1: The magic age for men is 29. Men are ready for marriage around the age of 29 and 30. Of course, there are always exceptions, but in general, this is the trend I have seen. Before 29, they may be bemoaning the fact that it hasn’t happened, but really, they are still fairly content with their single state of being. But it seems that as the magic number 29 approaches, they suddenly wake up from a long nap of sweet dreams in the land of bachelorhood and decide they are ready or want to get married. Why is that? Why don’t you ask your male friends? My husband’s frank answer, “Because we’re men… well, it takes us a little longer to reach maturity.” By no means am I arguing that marriage = maturity, but we all know that it takes some maturity for marriage to work. Please do not misunderstand me, in presenting this theory I am NOT in any way trying to bash the male gender! I am just stating a general trend that I have seen in men. Having said that, if you (single ladies) are looking for a good man who is ready to settle down, look for someone who is almost 29 and above. If you’re dating a guy who is younger than 29, don’t put unnecessary pressure on the guy. He will come to his own senses when he reaches the magic age. Meanwhile, be patient. It will happen. ;)

My theory #2: Coupling is all about the jaw structure. What? Yeah, you heard me right—jaw structure. Let me explain. Again, there are always exceptions to the general rule so don’t freak out and wonder if your relationship is doomed if this isn’t true for you as a couple. ;) My theory is that people with similar jaw-structure get together. Perhaps it’s our instinctual desire to be tied together for eternity with someone who kind of resembles us. I don’t know why, really. For example, I don’t know how many times Paul and I have been told we look a like. “Hello? He’s white, bald, hairy, with a white man’s nose, and big eyes? I am, on the other hand, Asian, have slanted eyes, with what would be considered a typical Asian nose, with full set of black hair and I am smooth as an ivory! Should we be flattered or offended?” So, then what makes people look at us and say, “You guys look alike?” My theory, it’s the jaw line. We have nothing in common in features, but we share a similar jaw structure. Here are pictures to prove it…. look at that pointed jaw line and chin! What makes our relationship work? It’s because we’re jaw-mates!

To brag a little here, I can tell you how many times I have predicted coupling of people based on their jaw structure. I admit, sometimes it doesn’t work out, but in general, they end up getting hitched. I have had to use the virtue of patience with many couples so that they could finally come to that “Ah-hah” moment that they are meant for each other, even though I predicted it 2 or more years ago. They have been right there under each other’s nose (no pun intended!), but it took some time to come to their own realization, which felt like eternity to me. When they become “official,” I usually sigh a sigh of relief thinking, “Finally….” Why it takes couples so long to figure this out, I don’t know. So, if you’re wondering about this guy or gal, get your photos out and compare the jaw structure. It may be the answer you have been searching for and might help you to know whether there is a good chance in your relationship or whether you should move on in search of your jaw-mate.

Ps: If you want my professional analysis, you can send them my way, but I expect to be invited to the wedding. ;)

Pics of some of my other favorite married jaw-mates. (I figured family wouldn't mind being used as exhibits for my theory!) ;)

My Coping Mechanism

Yesterday, I started having what I would call a "light period." (So sorry if this is way too TMI for some of you) I still have it, but it's still light. I contacted the doctor because I was concerned and he said, "I agree this does not sound promising at all. For now I would suggest you ignore the bleeding and do the blood test as planned on Saturday." I'm not sure how you ignore it since it's right there, but here's my attempt at ignoring it.

Paul and I spent some time thinking about names that we CANNOT give to our kids. I guess it's our way of coping and still holding on to some hope. ;)

Polly
Belle
Otto
Ra-In (Korean?)
Pi
Cosmo
Kar Dio (we made it up)
(all attached to surname Graf)

Do you get it? ;) Hence, we opted out on hyphenating our last name:
Paul Lee-Graf. (say it quickly) ;)

Can you think of any? If so, share them with us.
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Here are a few more that my in-law's have suggested after reading the blog. You can tell they have had a lot more time to think about it! :)

Fono,
Telly,
Mimi O' (- a nod to the Irish),
Spiro (-classical Greek),
and our favorijte reject - Seismo

3:30 AM

I am wide awake at this odd hour when I should be nuzzled close to my husband and sleeping. I can't get myself to go back to sleep... I already checked my email, caught up on friends' blogs, and the news. If I am still not sleepy after this blog entry, I think I'll read Harry Potter! I am really enjoying the first few chapters....bummed that I didn't bring the other Potter books.

Hmmm..... I really love the silence at this hour. With the exception of the ceiling fan and the crickets, I can't hear a thing...... I love watching Paul sleep. He looks so peaceful and is so still....I wonder how he can sleep so still, without moving a limb and not changing his position at least for the last 45 minutes I've been awake. I want to lean over and give him a peck on the forehead but I'm afraid I might disturb his sweet sleep. Sleep looks so tasty watching him.....I wonder if those embies are still alive and growing. They're probably working and not sleeping. :) I have absolutely no symptoms this time around, unlike the last time. It is very different. But, as I said before, no point in obsessing over it. It has become second nature to rub my tummy and talk to it. It's comforting. You should try it.... I can't believe I can count 9 weddings (and I'm predicting a couple more) by end of 2008. I thought I had passed the wedding going phase a while ago, but I guess not. :) Too bad I will be unable to go to any of them, except to my bro's in April. I promise to post something dedicated to all couples (engaged or not) soon. I think it's about time for me to share my secret theories about coupling. Really, I think you will find them quite fascinating. :) ......By the way, what is Facebook exactly? I had a friend tag me to join and I joined, and it's way too confusing. At this point, I think I'll just stick with blogging....Hmmm......I think I'm finished with this blog.... maybe I will disturb Paul a little bit...I'm so wicked! ;) j/k

Simple Stillness

I spent a lot of my time gazing out the windows in my hotel room while recovering from who knows what. I felt like writing a poem this morning. I'm not much of a poet but, I thought why not? (Unfortunately, I can't seem to get this blog to reflect the formatting of the poem.)

Simple stillness

Gazing out,
still roofs,
swaying palm trees,
unmovable hills,
muddy bay,

Looking beyond,
distance,
transfixed,
the horizon,

In company with other gazers,
happily lost,
in the moment
of serenity,
thoughts on a journey,
near,
and far,

Noise outside,
drowned out,
gentle quietness,
of my heart,
mind,
soul.

Simple stillness

Check Here for Updates on 2nd Round of IVF

I will be updating only in this posting section. So, for those who want to know more, you can check this specific posting from time to time.

Aug. 29: Yeah!! I got to leave my hotel room and eat breakfast in the hotel restaurant! I'm feeling much better. :) Tomorrow we head home.
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Part 2: I'm not trying to be a drama queen here...hmm...maybe I just am. :0 Anyway, if you're starting to get sick of reading about my physical ailments, don't read on. I know there are some folks who wants to know what is happening and this is the quickest way to disseminate info...

So, maybe this post is jinxed (j/k) ;) because right after I posted saying my fever is down and etc. about 2 hours later, fever came back with force...this time 103.9! What is going on with my body? And you know how I said that my appetite is back?...forget it, it is gone! We'll see how I'm doing tomorrow and then, we'll decide whether to go visit a hospital. I've been rubbing my tummy, praying that the two embies are growing, and talking to them... "Hang in there. Don't give up on me because I haven't given up on you." I'd appreciate your prayers for good health for Paul, me, and the two embies.
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August 27: So, after I posted my last blog saying how great I was feeling, a few hours later, I was pretty much in bed sick with a fever and a painful lower abdominal pain. It was so bloated. I don't know what brought about the sudden shift in the health condition...maybe it was eating too many pineapples, drinking hot tea at the hotel, or maybe it was the ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome? Who knows? Anyway, as you can see, I am feeling better, although I still have abdominal pain, but it is not as excruciating, fever is down, and I have my appetite back (which is always a good sign). This round of IVF has been much more challenging physically, but if we get a baby or two out of this, it would be all worth it!
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August 26: We had 2 embryos transferred last night (2 day transfer for those of you who are more technically aware). One had divided into 5 cells and the other to 3 cells. The doc said they both were grade A, meaning they looked good. This time around they did not have me under anesthesia, but I was awake for the whole thing! It was not bad at all, and I enjoyed talking with the docs, being aware of what is happening, and getting to eat right after the procedure (had to fast for half of the day). I feel good and positive. My gut intuition says this one will work! :) I really hope so. Now, comes the most difficult part--the two weeks of waiting. I'm planning to not obsess over it as much as I can and try not to interpret every little physical sign....easier said than done. :)

If this cycle is a dud, we'll talk again what we will do... the doc basically said he would recommend egg donor or adoption because my eggs are no good, even with the highest dosage given..... but right now, I'm just praying for the two precious cells inside. Please keep them & us in your prayers. (By the way, we're praying for twins. Then, we'll be done! unless we decide we want more.... :) We head home on the 30th and go in for beta test on Sept.8, although the result will be available a few days later.
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Aug. 24: Last night we had eight eggs retrieved (we were all surprised bc we were all expecting maybe four). Today, we learned that only two have made it to single cell--fertilization. I'm feeling still kind of raw from the news. As you can imagine, I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind and I'm sad. Only two.... Please pray that the two will survive, that the cells will divide and become healthy embryos. We need a miracle here. I go in tomorrow night for the transfer...hopefully we will have two to transfer.
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Aug.22: We're going in for egg retrieval on Thurs. at 6pm and then shortly after that fertilization will happen. My fever is gone although I still have stomach cramps and feeling nauseated. I have complete aversion to food right now (I know, I can't believe it myself), which sucks because there are plenty of options here for seafood and etc. Right now, all I want to eat is saltine crackers and 7-up....maybe this is good preparation for the first trimester? ;)
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August 18: It looks like we have four follicles that look normal, one that might be a cyst and one small one. So, it can be anywhere between 4-6 follicles, kind of similar to the last cycle. Please pray that they grow to become good viable eggs. I have another appointment on Tues. for a blood test to see if they can learn more about the quality of the eggs, and another ultrasound. We'll learn more on Tues. and until then, continue with the shots....I had a chocolate croissant for comfort food. :)
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Aug. 16: We're in Mumbai, settled in our hotel, borrowing someone's wireless and resting. Our flight from Kolkata to Mumbai was cancelled, but the sister airline put us on their flight, and arrived in Mumbai earlier than scheduled! :) We have our first doctor's appointment tomorrow to see how many follicles are growing.