Returning Soon

It feels kind of surreal that we are returning to the States again next week. There is a part of me that is very ready to be back. Being pregnant here has not been the easiest, especially as I've struggled to find things to keep my stomach full. Recently, I've been experiencing more cravings and I am looking forward to lots of string cheese, Korean-Chinese dishes, tofu, different varieties of fruits and vegetables, Taco Bell, really good sandwiches, udong, sushi, etc. I'm also so looking forward to good medical care and finding out the gender of our babies! Our time here has felt pretty packed, and in a way I have felt like I've been here much longer than three months.

I feel like we really hit our stride living here in India since our arrival in late August. I can't think of another time where we literally hit the ground and were able to run the next day. Relationships, day to day living, work-- we were able to pick up right where we left off and move ahead. I guess three months isn't that long to be away but it is still a significant enough time. At the same time, it was an intense time as we wrestled with some tragic news, struggled with one illness after another (for Paul and Elijah), and I dealt with pretty hard morning sickness.

One of the ways that I feel like the last three months here have been helpful is the ways that God has solidified some of my friendships. Right before we left for the States in June, we made an intentional connection with an American family who has children Elijah's age. When we came back, I got to reconnect with the mom and learned that she and a couple of other moms have been meeting together for a weekly playgroup. It has been great to have a group of American friends for Elijah and I to connect with. I feel sad to be leaving now just as we are starting to feel more connected with each other (especially for Elijah who is starting to feel more comfortable being around the American kids), but I'm looking forward to reconnecting with them when we return. There is another woman who is expecting their third child only a couple of months behind me, so that should be fun too.

And then, there is the Korean mom's group. These women continue to inspire me, if that is the right word. We've been praying together and it's really encouraging to be praying with them. I don't always feel like I fit in. The truth is that there is a cultural gap between Korean-Koreans and Korean-Americans but praying together always draws us together in Jesus. Today, we spent some time reading about Yemen, interceding for the country, and sharing our own prayer requests. I can't say I feel like they are my "friends," but I do feel connected to them in a different way from the American moms.

One of my closest Indian friends is expecting her first child in May. I am so excited for her and her husband. Just after we arrived here in August they went through their first round of IVF in Kolkata. Because we had shared with them our journey they had felt they could really share with us too. We were able to walk with them as they asked us for advice and prayer during the process. They didn't feel comfortable sharing with their other friends because they didn't feel they would really understand the whole process. We felt privileged to support them in this way. We are so excited for them and I hope we make it back in time for their delivery.

And then, there are other folks here that I feel like I can really call my friends and I am grateful for each one of them. I feel like the last three months have been for me a solidifying my network of support and friendship. I will need them when I return next year with the twins.

For Elijah too, I think this will be a much bigger transition than our last move. Now he has didis, dadas, (big brothers and sisters in Nepali), nunas, hyoungs (big brothers and sisters in Korean), aunties, and uncles that he will miss. He's very flexible and easy going, but I also wonder how this constant change in relationships will impact him.

So, although I am happy to be returning back to the States to be near my family and friends that I love there, I also feel sad to be leaving friends here too. I feel both ready and not ready to be returning.

Visting Jyoti's Family

I finally got myself over to visit Jyoti's family last week. (Jyoti passed away in August after setting herself on fire.) I wish I had gone there sooner, but I wanted to wait until my nausea from my pregnancy subsided. I just didn't want to sit at their place looking uncomfortable or with my nose covered. Also another friend wanted to go with me but coordinating our schedule was just became too difficult and with my upcoming trip back to the States, it was now or never.

I so appreciate the hospitality of this family (Jyoti's brother's) and the neighbors there. Although it was early in the morning, they were so happy to see me. I also got to see Jyoti's daughter (Uspasum--I have hard time pronouncing it) and hear about how she was doing. They had taken her in as their own and although she occasionally cries and asks for her mother, overall, she seemed like she was doing alright. They felt that it would be best to keep her with them where all her other relationships are in tact rather than removing her and sending her off to be with another relative. I was glad to hear that.

Uspasum's father (Jyoti's husband) has been banned from visiting her at least in their neighborhood. They said that sometimes he visits her after school at the school premise. There had been talks of pressing charges against him, but at the end, Jyoti's parents decided not to. They seemed a bit disappointed by that.

We just spent some time drinking tea, sharing, and looking at pictures of Jyoti. We also shed a few tears as we shared our pain over the loss. I could tell they felt really grateful that I had remembered Jyoti and came to visit them, even after a couple of months late. It was good for my heart to be back at the place where we had met for the first time....