Prayer Update - March 2012

Here are some highlights from the last few months...

God Provides - Praise Jesus that we finished 2011 on budget! A BIG thanks for all your prayers and financial support. 

FECAI Training Program - From November until June we are doing a big, multiphase training project with the FECAI staff. This is to help the field staff be more effective, as well helping the management team plan, execute, and follow-up on a larger program. The first two phases were effective, and now the supervisors and field staff are doing needs surveys in the fields to help identify opportunities for us to serve and to help shape the next phase of training. Pray for the needs surveys and the training in practical skills that come next.

FECA Annual Conference - In January we went to Thailand for a conference with the other FECA fieldworkers. It was a great time to connect with them and folks from the home office.

Time with Family - Paul's parents came with us to the FECA retreat to help look after the kids. After the
conference they stayed for a week and we all enjoyed time together at the beach. Then Rebecca's family all came to visit. Ten adults and nine kids (with one more on the way) had a great time. Elijah loved playing with his cousins, and Rena and Sophianne loved watching all the kid-action going on around them. Rena and Sophianne were able to celebrate their first birthday with family!

Rena's Feeding – We've had a series of illnesses in the family since November. Most have been normal childhood (or adult!) sicknesses, but it has been wearing and stressful at times – especially when we've had to go to the doctor. Most seriously, Rena is having an ongoing feeding issue. She eats little and sometimes it takes her more than an hour to eat that. She has only gained one pound in six months and her blood test showed that she is anemic.  It has been very stressful for me (Rebecca). It takes a lot of emotional and mental energy. Please pray that Rena eats better and that we would find the right treatment for her. I have been learning about grace for myself in this. Five months ago my intuition said she was anemic, but I didn't pursue it. It's been hard not to be hard on myself for not getting her the help she needed sooner. Please pray for me and for Rena.

Mashi Mandali - We've scheduled a number of training events with our local church denomination. Paul did the teaching at the pastors' training last year, and we're glad that it has turned into an ongoing opportunity. The next event is the Women's Conference, where Rebecca is one of the speakers. Pray for her preparation: that Jesus would speak to her, and that we would be able to find good, uninterrupted blocks of time. 

Our house fellowship at Christmas

Grant Participants - We had the second retreat of the organizations who are participating in the grant we received from First Fruit. It was a good time of going deeper spiritually and opening up and sharing with each other. We were thankful for the group of leaders that we have, and for the great projects they are undertaking. Some highlights from the reports include a home and vocational skills center for HIV positive ex-prostitutes; three projects working with slum children; gospel-sharing adult literacy classes; training for pastors in Bhutan, Assam, Bihar, and Nepal; a training DVD, and training to equip rural churches to impact their communities.

Being a Team - The other day another American couple saw us at the local tea shop. "Are you on a date?" It was 11:00 am, but we didn't have any kids with us, so they knew it was special. "No, it's a team meeting," I replied. They laughed knowingly – they also have small kids. To get any focused time together we have to get out of the house. (We're thankful for a good nanny to stay with the girls and Elijah was in pre-school.) Being a family and a ministry team takes juggling. Before we had kids, it was easy to have our "team meetings" over dinner; now we have to be more intentional. The girls have turned one and we're out of that tiny-baby stage, so we're trying to get more time together to pray, plan, and have "adult conversation." Pray for our team times together, that they would be rich in encouragement, vision, and hearing from Jesus. Also, pray for consistently good individual prayer times (overcoming tiredness and interruptions!) and that we would draw our strength from Him.

Monthly Prayer Update Dec 2011

Dear Friends,

Here are some highlights of our past and coming month!

Mashi Mandali House Church
In our small house church we've been studying the book of Philippians. This has been a great context to discuss what the church is, and what it should be, with the other members. Both the format (discussion) and the depth are new for people. People are going deeper with scripture and really wrestling with what it means for their lives. At the beginning of one study, someone commented, "This keeps getting harder [to apply in our lives] every week." We have really been challenged by Paul's vision for the church!

One of the fruits of this is that I (Paul) have been asked to teach Philippians at the denomination's annual pastor's conference. One of the members of the house fellowship is involved in the denominational leadership and felt that the things we are learning at church would be relevant for the pastors. Philippians is a book close to my heart; it will be hard to cover it in two days, but I am really thankful for the opportunity to teach it!

FECAI - Progress and Lots to Do
Paul has been helping FECAI re-organize to better focus on their mission and to better align people's work with their gifts. This has meant a lot of changes for them, and lots of chances for Paul to walk alongside people as they grow into their new roles. Recently Paul has been working with the regional managers, helping them as they take on new responsibilities. It has been fun to see them empowered in new ways. We're starting a training program over the next six months to help better equip their staff with tangible ministry skills. This is a big project, that will hopefully both train the field staff and set an example of how to implement and manage a program for continued effectiveness.

Mercy Ministries of North-East India
Paul spent two days in western Assam (about 4 hours by train) visiting with a new potential ministry partner. They are local pastors and field staff working in a very difficult context: there is persecution for new believers, corruption is rampant, kidnappings and extortion are common, and development is low. Pray for God's guidance as we consider coming alongside these faithful people.

Family
Someone told us that once you have kids, time flies by even more quickly. How true it has been. It's hard to believe that Elijah will turn three years old in January and that our twins, Rena and Sophianne, will turn one in February! By January, we will no longer be parents with three kids under the age of three! :)

Life with three little kids has meant that there is hardly any room for a quiet moment in the house. For us parents, it has meant that we are more tired than ever. I (Rebecca) didn't realize how physically demanding it can be. Now that the girls are crawling and pulling themselves up, we are on full time duty chasing after them in opposite directions. To contain them, we usually hang out in the kids' room and close the door! It's one room where it's mostly childproof. They have started eating solids, which has meant that the kitchen is always busy preparing food. We have at times wondered what life would be like with a big refrigerator! Sophianne is eating like a champ, and although she was the little one, she has now surpassed her sister in weight. Rena has been having feeding issues. We are not sure of all the reasons, but her NICU occupational therapist thinks she might have an oral sensory problem. She's slowly starting to eat, for which we are grateful. We'd appreciate your continual prayers for her.

Elijah is talking up a storm. We love the mind of a 34 month old. There is so much going on in there, and most of the time there are stories being lived out or being told. We have constant entertainment. Really, who needs TV when you have a preschooler (oh yes, except when you want to get some work done!)?! We think he's in the process of learning Hindi because he babbles words and we and he have no idea what is being said, but the intonation definitely sounds like Hindi. He is starting to speak a few Nepali phrases and likes to say some Korean words. Most mornings, he protests going to school, but he always comes home with a big smile and a, "I had a good day!" It's interesting to hear his observations. The other day, he said to us, "India is changing. There are more traffic lights."

As we have been reflecting on our family life recently, it has become more apparent that the area that has suffered the most has been our relationship. The last five years have been full of big and little transitions. We've added three people to our family, had five apartments, lived for more than a month in nine places, and had to adjust to life in a cross-cultural, stressful environment. In the midst of all this our character issues have surfaced - mostly in our interactions with each other. When we're stressed it is easy to be short and hurtful. This has become the biggest issue that God is working on in us. It has been hard too, especially after having kids, to find the time to invest in our relationship! Although we have been experiencing growth, we still feel we have a long way to go. We desire to have deeper intimacy, better understanding ears and hearts, and more spark in our marriage. Please pray for God's special grace for us so that we can be the safe haven for each other, especially during stressful times. We desire this next term in India to be one where we are thriving in all areas.

Donations to our ministry can be sent to

FECA
2617 W. Beverly Blvd.
Montebello, CA 90640

Make the checks payable to FECA and write 'Graf' in the memo line.
All donations are tax deductible. Automatic withdrawal is also available.

Donate Online:

DONATE

For pictures, check out our blogs:
Updates on the Kids:
http://gkidschronicles.blogspot.com/

Life in India:
Assam Trip

Sandakphu

Prayer Requests

• Training Conferences: FECAI's Annual Staff Conference followed by a management team retreat, Dec. 6-10. Mashi Mandali annual pastor's conference, Dec. 14-16.
• Rena: Please pray with us that Rena would progress well in her eating.
• Funding: Thanks to all of you who have given to our support. We are now only about $4,500 dollars short of our 2011 budget. Please consider a year-end gift and pray that we would be able to finish the year in the black.
• Future Ministry for Rebecca: As the girls get bigger and more independent, Rebecca is starting to think again about ministry opportunities outside the home. There are so many needs here to be met! Pray for God's guidance to the ministry that will match her gifts, passions, and limited schedule.
• Christmas: Pray for good opportunities to share with our neighbors the true meaning of Christmas.

Assam Trip

A Trip to Visit Mercy Ministries of North-East India

November 2011

Sandakphu

One of my friends from church invited me to go to Sandakphu with him. It's 12,000 mountain 35 miles from here, as the crow flies, from which you can see four of the five world's highest peaks.

 

We didn't trek, or take the horses - we 'jeep trekked'.

Sundown at 10,000 ft.

Daybreak on Kanchanjunga

Daybreak on Everst (middle), about 90 miles away

We were straddling the Nepal/India border. I probably made 20 crossings without a visa!

Our New Flat

"How do you like living in your new flat? What is it like?"

It has been wonderful living in our new flat. Yes, it has its problems (we are living in India) with water seeping through the wall when it rains, doors not shutting properly, toilet leaks here and there, etc. but, in general, things are working as it should. The water pressure is amazing, the view is superb, the convenience of playgrounds, elevators, and open areas for walking, running, etc. is just what we need as a family. The roads are wide and without potholes for the most part (in our township) so we can put the kids in the stroller and go for walks. Sometimes it is the only way that Paul and I can get some time together to talk and process our life. Elijah loves the playgrounds and the open area where he can run around, dance, sing out loud, and watch older kids play cricket. I can't wait to have a picnic out when the sun isn't so bright and it is a little bit cooler. I was thinking the other day how great it would be for the girls to practice walking on the grass when that time comes.....

I have been enjoying getting to know some of my neighbors who are friendly and great English speakers. There are some Nepalis in the apartment complex, but I hardly ever see them out. It seems like they keep to themselves. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they are considered minorities.....Most of the folks that I have been meeting in our complex are of various ethnic backgrounds. It is a very diverse place. We have enjoyed two birthday parties and a couple of visits during the Hindu festival time as people visited with sweets. Elijah also has kids around his age that he is starting to get to know. One of the ways that I have been surprised by is how well Elijah remembers kids' names. For the life of me, I cannot get their names right and he is always correcting me!

I never knew this about myself until I moved to India--that I love lots of natural light. In the States, we take it for granted because usually homes have big windows that allow for lots of light to come in. In India, because of the density of population and the ways that buildings are built, it's hard to find places with lots of natural light. It is literally like a cement box and after five years of cement box, I am SO grateful to have windows--large windows that bring in light!

It has three bedrooms and three bathrooms. Three bathrooms is a bonus but we're glad for the extra one because it has been functioning as our laundry room. It has been nice to have our own bathroom in the bedroom too. It's been great to have three bedrooms because I can now separate the girls--one in the guest/office and the other in our room--because they are napping and sleeping better at night. Elijah sleeps in the "kids' room" (we call it that so that he doesn't think it is his own because we hope to put all three in the room so that Paul can have a functioning office and a guest room). It is where the kids hang out when they are inside the flat.

Last month, as Paul and I celebrated our twelve years of marriage, we talked about what were some surprises that we didn't expect would happen or be like when we got married. One of the things that Paul shared was that we would be living in Uttorayon (which is the name of our township), which I heartily agreed. We both had ideals about the kind of life that field workers lived and the kind of homes that we would live in. It is far different than what we had imagined. I'm not even sure if I can fully articulate everything, but I didn't imagine myself living in a multi-story, multi-unit apartment complex in a new housing development, living among upper-middle class English speaking people! There are so many different ways to "live among" or "be among" the culture that you are in and we realized that we had a very specific and perhaps narrow view of what that meant.

When we were in the process about our decision to move here, I was reminded during my prayer time a brief interaction I had with God about ten years ago in China. I had visited my parents and they were living in a similar place like ours--a really nice apartment complex. And, I found myself wrestling inside because it did not match my idea of how a field worker should live. So, I remember kind of judging my parents and grumbling to God about it. And I distinctly remember the Lord speaking to me, "Why are you judging them? You don't know what process they went through with ME in choosing to live in this place? Maybe one day, you will find yourself in a similar situation like them." I remember repenting of my judgmental attitude toward them realizing that it was true, I didn't know the process they had with God over their decision. So, I asked and they shared with me how they came to a place of deciding to live there. And, now I find myself in a similar kind of living situation as them and I am thankful to God for His wisdom in addressing my attitude over ten years ago.

I am learning that it's not about our ideals but trusting and following as the Father leads us. We just didn't think that this place would be one of the places that He would lead us to live in. I am so thankful for God's blessing in providing this place for us for our good and for the blessing of others.

(Pics will be posted later..)

Earthquake Damage in North Sikkim

Here are some pictures that Abu took while working on the earthquake relief team in North Sikkim.

Our New Place

 Here's our new place. We're on the fifth floor. It is a complex that caters to upper-middle class Indians and most of our neighbors speak English.

The cracks in you can see here were there before the earthquake - they've had numerous quality control issues with the development.

Living Room - Notice the BIG window! Typical Siliguri has small (often frosted) windows that look directly into other people's small windows. This is a big improvement!

Kitchen

  Right after we moved in the earthquake hit. The cement beams separated from the brick partition wall an cracks formed in every room.